What Is Your Constitution?

I believe we are here on this planet to know, love, and fully accept ourselves. When we know, love, and fully accept ourselves, we can know, love, and fully accept others - creating a conscious state of oneness. When we speak our authentic truth, we give others encouragement to do the same. When we understand our constitution, we become more aware of those around us, empowering ourselves to choose experiences that align with who we are and who we desire to become.

Constitution can be defined as:

· (n.) The aggregate of all one's inherited physical qualities; the aggregate of the vital powers of an individual, with reference to ability to endure hardship, resist disease, etc.; as, a robust constitution.

· (n.) The aggregate of mental qualities; temperament.

· (n.) The state of being; that form of being, or structure and connection of parts, which constitutes and characterizes a system or body; natural condition; structure; texture; conformation.

Understanding our unique Constitution is vital for our individual and collective evolution. Identifying our natural condition, the character of our BEing, and our vital powers or beliefs, is essential awareness that can bring about transformational change in our lives. Owning, accepting, loving, and embracing who we are can help us make better choices in our relationships, experiences, and endeavors.

Join me this week in identifying your own Constitution by asking yourself:

• What are my natural tendencies?
• How am I made up?
• What experiences, relationships, and activities do I need in my daily life to thrive?

As an example, here are some aspects that make up my Constitution - the elements that have always been a part of who I am and who I strive to become.

Jennifer's Constitution

...values authentic, honest communication.

...thrives when connecting with others, nature, and all things.

...feels aligned when building communities.

...driven to make a big positive difference.

...centers when the body-mind-spirit is in harmony...

...appreciates positive affirmation and verbal support.

...needs consistent, moderate exercise to feel in balance.

...connects to higher and true self with yoga & meditation.

...rejuvenates with healthy, whole, alive food.

...finds joy in beauty, nature, and friendship.

...loves to write.

...thrives when helping others be their best.

...seeks out connection - with life, mysteries, synchronicities, & all things.

...sensitive to sugar imbalances in the body.

...embodies strong opinions.

...craves learning and awareness.

...defaults to using mental reasoning and processing.

...needs organization and aesthetic spaces to be productive.

Striking The Balance

October is one of my favorite months of the year - a transitional time where the mountains turn into a patchwork of colors, the air is crisp and the cooler temperatures invite us to bring out our sweaters and settle into the coziness of fall. It is also my birthday month, a time where I reflect on my life and how I have been able to strike the balance of raising and caring for my family, aligning my work with my higher purpose, and following my heart as I strive to walk an authentic and inspired life. It is a month that is governed by the energies of Libra - the symbol of the scales - the ruler of balance.

The forces of Libra invite us to look at how we are effectively utilizing our strengths, living our ideals, and organizing ourselves so we can truly be in harmony with our purpose and paths. It is a time ripe with opportunity to put things in order, to build upon the foundations which have been laid by our past activities or ideas, and to make right use of our intelligence (intellectual, emotional, and intuitive) to make decisions that are in alignment with our values and vision.

Probably the most important influence of Libra is the opportunity we all have to become "master builders", using the talents and abilities we have been given to bring light and love into form. This expression can be seen in building friendships, partnerships, families, organizations, and communities. This expression can be seen in the ideas we initiate, the projects we start, the products we design, and the services we offer. Whatever our expression, we have the capability to tune into our Source, whatever we call it, and ask for it's essence to guide and direct our choices in a way that not only serves our highest and greatest good but the highest and greatest good of all.

Join me in taking a moment to reflect on these ideals by asking yourself:

• Do the activities that occupy my daily routine express my ideals and values?
• Am I using my strengths to the best of my ability in my relationships, work environment, and personal endeavors?
• Are my actions and choices aligned with who I strive to be?

Rolling With The Rhythms

Life is a series of cycles - a conglomeration of ebbs and flows, beginnings and endings that lead to initiations and completions. Like the rhythms of our heartbeat, shown on a cardiogram, our days and weeks are made up of peaks and valleys. These ups and downs give us the opportunity to learn, grow, and expand our awareness while illustrating that change is constant.

For me, this rhythm is acutely noticeable in my physical body. I have days, weeks and even months when I am consistently motivated to BE healthy, active, positive, outgoing, and conscious. And then, there comes a time, when I have no interest in exercising and all I want to do is eat, sleep, and not be responsible for a damn thing.

I've learned that these unmotivated times come in a cyclic rhythm, sometimes predictable and sometimes not. When I attach and resist to these changing tides, I become tense, constricted and grumpy. When I allow them to surge and recede in their own time, with awareness, I am able to shift into a state of appreciation for my body's intelligence and rhythms.

We all have this same opportunity - to observe the changing times and our own highs and lows with non-judgment, centeredness and awareness. With the Fall Equinox upon us tomorrow and a powerful weekend ahead, please join me in giving thanks to the rhythms and cycles that govern our planet and existence. If you feel inclined take it a step further and follow the Awakening Exercise below.

AWAKENING EXERCISE:

Take out your journal or a piece of paper and answer the following questions:

1. What cycles consistently govern my life? (Think of your relationships, your health, your work)
2. Write down one or two sentences that describe the theme of this cycle.
3. What does this cycle have to teach me?
4. How can I practice loving detachment of this rhythm or cycle that ebbs and flows throughout my life?

Harnessing The Harvest Moon

The Harvest Full Moon occurs today, September 12, 2011 in Pisces. It is a sacred time when farmers used to harness the soft orange radiance of the moon's glow to cast light on their harvest, picking the fruits of their labor.

The full moon also signifies the end of a cycle, a beautiful opportunity to reflect on aspects of our lives that are helping or hindering us from BEing all we came here to BE. Given this meaning, I invite you to harness the energies of the harvest full moon into your own life by asking yourself:

1. What is the fruit of my labor that wants to be recognized or honored? ( a project, a decision, a way of BEing).
2. Once identified, how can I honor or celebrate my own bounty and greatness this week?
3. What one action step could I take to really nourish my body, mind, and soul this week?

Use the light of the Full Harvest Moon to cast a beautiful orange radiance on your life. Soak in the gentle glow as you celebrate all that you are and all that you are in the process of BEcoming.

Shine The Light On Your Inner Self!

Today we celebrate the Summer Solstice, the longest day of the year in the northern hemisphere. It is a sacred time when the light of the sun shines forth its radiance to help us turn up the vibrancy within ourselves. This celebrated event encourages us to acknowledge the beauty, wisdom, strength, courage, and uniqueness that makes us who we are. We can pause, reflect, and take notice of the way we are living each day, making sure that our choices reflect the vision and goals we have for ourselves, our families, and our communities.

Our obstacles of life are mostly rooted inside of ourselves. They take the form of unchecked habits, undisciplined choices, and automatic beliefs that have been shaped by the thoughts, feelings and behaviors of the past. These internal obstacles manifest as external ones, for we attract what we are. Because of this, we can use the potency of the light that streams into our planet today to help us see how we are limiting ourselves. Then, we can witness what changes in perspective, habits or beliefs are necessary to free ourselves so we can truly BE all that we were created to be.

Today also marks a time when our Sun enters the Zodiacal sign of Cancer which gives us an opportunity to build a new household of consciousness. In his book, The Forces of the Zodiac, Carl Japikse reminds us that "the forces of Cancer serve as midwife to the emergence of new life - new hopes, new potential, new qualities, new understandings, new skills, new projects, and new directions in self-expression." What a wonderful opportunity to check ourselves half way through the year to ensure we are working towards the life we want to live.

Join me this powerful week as we contemplate the following questions that will help shed some light on your inner-self:

• Do I have a personal and/or professional goal I want to achieve this year?
• Am I doing something each day to work towards these goals? If not, what daily habit or action step can I take to help make my desires a reality?
• What unchecked habits, undisciplined choices, or automatic beliefs are holding me back from experiencing total inner and outer happiness?
• Looking back on the summer of 2011, what did I experience that brought me great joy and fulfillment?

As you speak your truth and live a life that is congruent with your passion and purpose, you add to the raising of consciousness within yourself that directly influences the healing and expansion of our collective human experience. Trust your intuition. Honor your magnificence. Shine your light. Have a positively powerful week.

What Is Your Living Legacy?

On Monday, I viewed the beginning of Oprah's send-off celebration after 25 years and over 4500 episodes on TV. I witnessed the beginning of a tribute that left me teary eyed and in awe. A gathering of thousands of loyal viewers, famous admirers, and friends such as Tom Hanks, Tom Cruise, Beyonce', Madonna, Patti LaBell, and Diane Sawyer, honored a woman that has literally changed the world. Video clips, testimonials, and audience participation highlighted the profound ways that Oprah and the Oprah Show, empowered women, inspired healing, instilled courage, and motivated people all around the globe to wake up not only to who they ARE but who they can BE. And, what was most profound, was to see the positive impact these people are making on their own, NOW.

I found myself saying out loud as a tear of happiness streamed down my face, "You have to be asleep not to notice the shift taking place. Look at this, we are finally honoring and celebrating the empowerment of humanity. This is truly the ripple effect - where one person creates a movement that empowers others other people to create their own movements that lead to incremental and global change. I am so grateful to be alive at this time on the planet."

Oprah's legacy of hope, courage, and empowerment resonates deeply within me and inspires me to stay true to my own calling and authenticity. Her choice to be a powerful agent of service encourages me to do the same. Her commitment to honor her inner voice and inner compass reminds me to stay true to my own course. Her ability to lead, manage, and conduct a symphony of the human spirit awakens my passion and purpose to help people grow and expand.

As I look at my words, I remind myself that I am able to admire those qualities of light in Oprah because they are within me. You see, we are only able to identify qualities that we like or dislike in others because they are the same qualities that exist within us. We can use both perspectives (seeing the admirable traits or the negative, non-admirable traits) as opportunities to help us become more aware of who we are and more committed to who we want to BEcome.

Most legacies seem to be remembered in death. But, that does not need to be the case. Our legacy can form while we are awake and alive with every choice we make. As Madonna stated so eloquently, "Whenever I am asked who my role models are, or to name women that I can look up to, I say - dead or alive? The dead list is long and diverse; the live list has one name on it.... Oprah. Think about it, she has been at the top of her game for 25 years and she is still kicking ass. She fights for things she believes in, even if it makes her unpopular. She has balls and a well of compassion."

Whether you like Oprah or not, her living legacy has left an incredible positive mark on humanity's existence today. Let's use her or someone else you admire, to awaken our living legacies. Take a moment this week and contemplate who you really are and what it is you stand for.

Empowering Exercise:

Use these contemplative questions to help you consciously create your living legacy:

1. What do you stand for? What values do you want to pass on to your children or communities?
2. When people describe you, what 3 qualities would they use?
3. What impact or imprint do you want to leave behind?

BLOOMING AT THE PERFECT TIME

The "nature of nature is to transform", as Barbara Marx Hubbard, one of my beloved mentors so eloquently states. Barbara Hubbard is a futurist, a pioneer of human evolution, and a respected leader in the field of human consciousness. She reminds me to look towards nature for answers to my own life. As I do, I witness the implicate order in everything that grows and I am more able to observe the Divine Intelligence outside and within.

I am reminded that the perennials in my yard emerge from the soil in perfect timing, without forcing their growth or making it happen. They simply surrender to the forces that nourish them - the sun, the rain, the air. Then, day by day, they grow towards the light that shines down upon them with anticipation, surrender, and an upward reach. When the timing is perfect, they bloom and offer their beauty with radiant colors, richness of texture, and delicious fragrance. Alone, they are beautiful, but when they are placed together they make an even more beautiful garden.

Reflecting on the nature of nature, I laugh at myself when I get into the mode of wanting to control my own growth. Instead of surrendering and allowing the timing to clearly reveal itself, I unconsciously try to make things happen. You see, I am a doer. Ideas come to me easily and often. I feel at peace when I can bring those ideas to fruition. In an effort to experience this peace and fulfillment, I end up creating a self-inflicted urgency to implement the ideas (sometimes all at once). However, instead of resulting in peace and fulfillment, I end up feeling stressed and overwhelmed because I have taken on too much. I highly doubt the flowers that bloom at just the right time of year feel stressed out when offering their beauty to the world.

So, today, I surrender to the divine timing that is inherent in nature, outside of myself and inside of myself. Instead of forcing the expression of my beauty and gifts, I am going to trust that they are shining forth in this very moment without having to DO anything more. I trust that the perfect timing to launch my new ideas, coaching programs, and new business endeavors, will reveal itself effortlessly. I choose to bloom in perfect timing, whenever that may be.

Empowering Exercise:

This week, please join me as we individually and collectively let go of forcing our growth. Allow your Divine Source (whatever that may be) to nourish and nurture your ability to bloom, at home, at work, in your community, or wherever your gifts take root.

Make a list of the areas in your life where you are forcing your growth. In each area, ask yourself:

• Is the timing right?
• Do I feel overwhelmed with the thought of taking this on?
• How can I fertilize this area of my life so that it can more fully express it's natural beauty?

Awakening into Oneness: Part 1

This past weekend, I received my certification as a Oneness Blessing Giver. The Oneness Blessing, also known as Deeksha, is an act of energy transfer by touch or by the power of intent and results in the expansion of consciousness.

"The Oneness Blessing is a non-denominational experience that transfers physical energy, awakening our connection with the oneness in everything, allowing each of us to deepen our relationship with those we love, with ourselves, with strangers and with our creator. The Oneness Blessing initiates a neurobiological change in the brain. There are 16 centers in the brain responsible for definitive experiences like sensory perception, emotions of jealousy, hatred, fear, compassion, love, joy, separation, connectedness, creativity, learning, etc. The Oneness Blessing results in the activation of certain centers and the de-activation of certain other centers thus bringing about a shift in the perception and experience of life." To learn more about the Oneness Blessing or Deeksha, visit: http://www.onenessuniversity.org/.

I came across the Oneness Blessing (Deeksha) in 2007 through a series of rapid synchronistic events. I had signed up to attend the Being Fearless Conference, a weekend workshop in NYC put on by the Omega Institute. The week leading up to the conference, I witnessed one of the most beautiful sunrises in Park City on my way home from the gym. I remember pulling over my car, rolling down the window, and welcoming the sun's rays into my hands that were facing the sun. As I stared at the beauty of the light, I began to notice a pulsing circular golden light that expanded in rhythm around the sun. It seemed as if there was a beautiful golden orb encompassing the sun. Later that day, I went was in a bookstore, when my eyes caught sight of a book called, Deeksha. I had never heard of the word before, but the image on the front cover startled me. It was the exact image of the sun rise I had seen that morning. Trusting the Universe's nudge, I bought the book and began reading it. I was fascinated, enthralled and inspired by the content and description of Deeksha and the Oneness movement. The words spoke to me, supported me, and completely resonated with my life's path. A few days later, I was on a plane to the Being Fearless Conference and noticed a full day pre-conference intensive called, Awakening into Oneness, given by Arjuna Ardagh. It was there that I learned and experienced the gift of grace and witnessed the power of oneness spreading around the world.

At that time, the only way to become a Oneness Blessing or Deeksha Giver was to go to India for a three week intensive training. Having a small child, that journey would not be possible. But all things that are meant to be happen in their own time. For the next 3 years, I attended Deeksha gatherings to receive the energy transfer and even created the Oneness Circle in Park City where I facilitated group meditations and self-discovery processes, while my friend and colleague, Craig Malecker gave Deeksha. These experiences created a new found self-awareness, inner peace, and connection to my inner and outer world.

During these three years, the training matured, fine-tuned, and opened up in such a way that it came to the United States for weekend certifications. Fortunately, this gift became available to me and I jumped on the opportunity to participate this past weekend in the Oneness Experience, a certification training to become a Oneness Blessing Giver.

The Oneness Experience was a beautiful, transformative, loving adventure of self. Emphasis was placed upon clearing up your relationships with forgiveness, love, and compassion. Principles were centered on the importance of "getting out of our minds" and increasing our self-awareness of our inner and outer world. Some of the teachings were basic, fundamental, and core to life. Yet, somehow we forget them and miss living them with consistency and integrity. My teachers, Janet Eakin and Linda were educational and unconditionally loving. They created a nurturing learning environment for me to reflect and deeply connect to my inner self. I am truly grateful to have received the information and teaching from and through them.

In the forthcoming eNewsletters, I will share my key takeaways and insights with you from the Oneness Experience. They are worth paying attention to and will absolutely assist you in living to your greatest potential, as they are me.

Questioning Our Intentions

Between now and December 21st, we are being influenced by the forces of Sagittarius. Sagittarius is a time "of rediscovery - a time when we renew our aspiration and rechart the direction in which we are heading in life. Yet in no way is it a time to yearn to return to the 'comfortable' life of the past. It is a time to harvest the wisdom of our past experiences, integrate the talent and strength and understanding we have acquired, and invest them in a thorough overhaul of the personality, so we can push forward into the future, along the course the soul has set for us." - Carl Japikse from The Forces of the Zodiac

These energetic forces seem to be stirring things up - physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. For me, modes of operating and communicating no longer seem to be as effective as they were before. As a result, I search deeper within myself for meaning, for alignment, and for what is motivating my intentions. I have come to learn that every intention is motivated by either a NEED or a FEAR. As such, we are being given the opportunity to go deeper and really understand what that is.

In recent reflections, I have come to identify that my intention to experience deep connection is motivated by my need for authenticity. I am repelled by fakeness, fallacy, and pretense. I strive to speak the truth, hear the truth, and see the truth. For many years, I have experimented with ways of expressing this truth - thinking at times that my view was the right way and the only way. Yet, I am coming to realize that truth is how we perceive it. How we view the world and each other depends upon our perceptions - which are always formed by experiences, our memories, and our belief systems. Each one of us may have a different truth. We may experience each other differently, and we likely view the world differently.

This month, I am working on finding a non-dual solution to express my authenticity. I am searching for a way that allows me to discover, honor, and express my truth without it having to be the only point of view. The way I am practicing this is to share my observations, my insights and experiences openly and honestly AND AT THE SAME TIME be genuinely interested in discovering, learning and hearing other points of view and perspective with EQUAL value, compassion and respect. It sounds easy, but how often do we really listen to each other with the same amount of attention and care that we desire to receive ourselves?

The other experiment I am running is only sharing my opinion when I am asked. WOW, is that hard! You can't even begin to imagine how challenging it is to get through one day (especially being a coach)! I invite you to try it out with me.

These examples are ways to rediscover ourselves and rechart the direction in our lives. We can do this by bringing that which is unconscious (our need or fear that is motivating our intentions) to our awareness. When we do this, we become more clear about who we are, why we are the way we are, and who we desire to be. With this new level of self awareness, we are able to make better choices that align with deliberate action rather than automatic response. For me, this is something I continue to strive for.

Please join me this week in reviewing your INTENTIONS and shifting your automatic responses to deliberate choices.

1. Write down the intentions you have set about anything (a relationship, work, money, health, etc).
2. Ask yourself what is the need or fear that is motivating your intention? Write the need or fear down for each intention.
3. Revise your intention such that your need or fear is really being nurtured and supported.
4. Write down some deliberate choices or actions you can take to honor your new intention.

In the spirit of sharing and connection, I invite you to post your intentions and reflections HERE in the comments box! That way, we can all learn from one another.

Pitter Patter Down My Face...

I was awoken at 5:30am today by the sensation of moist feet walking across my forehead and down my left arm. They were tiny and quick and belonged to a mouse – a real indication that sleeping in our camp is as close to camping as you can get. As soon as I realized it was a mouse, I found myself inquiring within as to what Mouse represents in Animal Medicine. I have been raised to believe that every animal has a message or wisdom to share with us, and we can tune into their gift by understanding what they represent. Although I left my Animal Medicine reference book at home (called Animal Medicine Cards), I recall that Mouse represents Scrutiny and the importance of noticing the details. On one hand, Mouse could be reminding me that my ability to perceive situations and information is strong. It could support my conversation that I had with my brother before I went to bed regarding the importance of analyzing life in the details. On the other hand, Mouse could be encouraging me to grow and pay even more attention.

For today, I ponder my life with more focus, inspired by the Mouse that literally visited me. What details am I overlooking as it relates to my life focus? What action plan do I need to revise in order to experience my greatest potential? What steps are necessary for me to take in order to publish my book? What actions are required to receive funding for the Lotus Wellbeing Group, a company I have been building for the last 2 years that will offer health advocacy, coaching, and educational services that focus on empowering and teaching people to experience complete well-being. This is the message of Mouse that I choose to hear today.

Morning Meditation by the Lake

I awoke this morning to a calm, still and peaceful lake. The air is warm with a humid mist in the air. Feeling a little bit off in balance, I went down to the water's edge to meditate and center myself. I sat cross legged with my hands wresting on my legs, palms facing the sky in quite contemplation. I focused my attention on my breath and began a conscious connection to my inhalation and exhalation - deepening my oxygen intake with each cycle. Quietly to myself, I thanked my body for it's support and tolerance of my demands and judgment and as I asked it for forgiveness, I felt the tension in my hips and pelvis release into the roots of the ground that I sat upon. Then, I opened my eyes in a soft gaze. In my peripheral vision, I immediately noticed a Loon fishing in front of me, diving deep into the water and then arising with an open beak. I connected to its essence and thanked it for it's presence in my life. In Animal Medicine, the Loon represents Leadership. I continually marvel at this representation since the Loon has been one of my guides ever since I was a little girl. I recently learned of it's meanining within the last 10 years which supported my belief in the magic and mystical synchronicity of the Universe.

After observing the stillness that surrounded me, my awareness tuned into the sounds in the woods that encircled me. The call of the crow, the splash of a duck, the lapping of gentle waves from a boat along the rocky shore. I could hear voices from my family sitting on the porch in the near distance. I suddenly was aware of my own awareness - how easy it is to tune it up or numb it out.

I took the 13 Moon Oracle Card Deck in my hands and began to shuffle them with my energy and intention for insight on this day. Before I asked a question, a portion of the cards popped out of my hands landing one perfectly on my left knee. Without further adue, I knew that this one was the card I was meant to read today. It was the card of Change and the Frequency of Purple. It spoke to me as all my cards do - intuitively knowing the exact insight or words that I need to hear at that moment. Through the interpretation, I learned that the color purple resonates to the Frequency of 11 which is a master number as thought by the Mayans. Interestingly, my birth chart and astrological readings indicate that my master number is also an 11. According to the 13 Moon Oracle book, 11 is the number associated with the final clearing before entering a higher order of being - a springboard into an entirely different frequency range of experience. I resonate with this idea and feel that an emergence of something new within myself is being birthed.

Goodbye Grandma

The heat from the flames warms my shins as I sit by the fire in my robe. This is how I dry off and warm up from bathing and swimming in the lake after a mid-afternoon run. The wind has shifted, indicating inclement weather may be on the horizon. As a young girl, I learned how to forecast the weather by observing which way the wind would blow across the lake, which turned out to be surprisingly accurate.

Yesterday we had a beautiful day putting my grandmother to rest and welcoming an old friend I hadn’t seen for 20 years. We awoke to the sun shining and decided that it was the perfect day to have Grandma Barta’s ceremony. So after my nephew, Jake went down to sleep, we all headed into the woods to honor her life and bury her ashes. There we sat in a circle, surrounded by trees, overlooking the lake and dock. The spot we had picked felt so right for her, as this was her place – her home – her heart. We opened the circle by smudging the space with a sage smudge stick left over from my wedding in 2003 and left it burning throughout. Mom, Chris, Barbara, Kristian, Riley and I honored her by reading some of her best poems about Rangeley Lake, the Loons, and Camp from her latest edition of her Poetry book. We shared memories, tears, and laughter as we reminisced about the magnificent, passionate, inspirational, and powerful woman she was. I shared a continuation of the words I spoke in her ear just before she took her last breath in a poem I wrote entitled You Are To Me.

You Are To Me:
You are the ripples on the lake
And the call of the Loon
You are the joy in the Hummingbird
And the peace in the forest
You are the exuberance of the wind
And the gentleness of the rain
You are the tradition of camp
And the fragrance in the flowers
You are the bounce in the Rebounder
And the sweetness of Pine Tree

You are my inspiration
And a carrier of my legacy
You are courage
You are strong-willed
You are my teacher
You are my gift
You are my great grandmother

Thank you for all the lessons you taught me on the earth…

For I learned from you…
…the importance of walking the walk
…what judgment is
…the value of having a dream
…the power of believing in myself
…the power of a positive attitude and the reality that one can heal thyself
…to appreciate beauty – in the flowers, in nature, in clothes, in things, and in people
…to love entertaining and bringing people together to enjoy great food and friendship
…to love horses and the freedom and partnership they would teach me
…to love to garden – connecting with the life force of Mother Earth
…to appreciate wide open spaces, fields, meadows and lakes
…the importance of movement and the joy in writing

You showed me the necessity of dreaming and knowing where you want to go
You taught me about energy – the forces that empowers our vitality as well as the healing energy that comes through our hands
You taught me not to try but do it with all my might and mind
You showed me what fear looks like and what dying is about for I witnessed a transcendence of peace and surrender as your Spirit passed on

So thank you for what you are to me. I will miss you and bid you adieu with the signature you passed along to me.

With love & light,
Jennifer

We all signed the box that contained her ashes and all took a turn placing the dirt to cover the hole where they will rest. We placed flowers and a blue hummingbird ornament next to her grave and placed the headstone securely in place that read “Judy Barta – Love & Light – 1920-2009”. The sun casted its light in delicate detail and we felt complete and blessed.

I feel Grandma’s Spirit all around. She knows we are here and I will always feel her presence in my heart. I am grateful for all the gifts she has taught me, for she was one of my most powerful teachers. With that, I bid her adieu and return to my family time by the fire.

Reflections on the Poch

Here I sit in the green rocking chair on the ‘poch’ (as Mainers would pronounce), overlooking Rangeley Lake. Our camp (another local term for a lakeside cabin) has been in my family for 5 generations and I have spent a part of every summer here for 37 years. Memories of our wedding, my brother’s wedding, hearing the loons call, skinny dipping, napping in the hammock, lobster dinners, running into town, Pine Tree Frosty’s, boating to the Bog, seeing Moose, listening to the sea planes, picking raspberries and blueberries, and pumping our drinking water from the well flood my brain. Memories that remain consistent from generation to generation are ones that give me great joy to pass along to my son.

We arrived late last night after a comical day of travel – delays at JFK, sitting on the tarmac while Riley had diarrhea, spilling of salad dressing in our seat with no napkins, and eating a salad with no utensils. Despite the comedy, we were welcomed by the glow of the full moon on the lake and my favorite loons calling to one another that sent a frequency of peace and joy throughout my body and soul. We were also welcomed by my brother, Chris, his wife Barbara, and my mom (their baby Jake was sleeping). Riley was so excited to arrive and was telling everyone about the three Moose we saw on the way in – including a baby. It gives me so much joy to see how excited he is to be here and I relish in observing the memories he is creating for himself.

Tomorrow we will celebrate my grandmother’s passing with an intimate family ceremony as we spread her ashes over the property and place her headstone overlooking the lake. We will read some poems out of her poetry book and honor her legacy with thoughts, prayers, and words. I feel Grandma’s essence here and I am confident it will never fade, as camp was where her heart always lived.

The wind begins to pick up on the lake as the clouds cover the warm sun. I am bundled up in a sweatshirt and sweatpants as I hear the chirping birds and chipmunks get louder in the trees that surround me. A speed boat passes by and it makes me wonder if I am really going to swim across the lake this year. That feat is one of Grandma’s many claims to fame – she is the only one in my family who has ever done it. I thought it would be the perfect way to honor and celebrate her this year, by joining her ranks and doing it myself. Although, from where I sit gazing out into the blue water, the distance of a mile and a half looks quite daunting. Thank God I have my wetsuit and my husband to Kayak next to me… I know I can do it.

I plan to write more during my time here, as it is one of my most favorite things to do while here at camp. It is a little different typing on my computer rather than writing in my journal, but I feel compelled to share my reflections with those who are interested and it seems that this is the most efficient way to do so.

Stay tuned for more…

Rainy Thoughts

It is 11:30pm as I sit here listening to the rain fall from the sky outside my office window. I awoke when Riley strolled into bed with us not able to return to sleep. Instead of lying in bed awake with wandering thoughts occupying my head, I decided to get up and be somewhat productive. So here I am sipping Chamomile and Lavender tea from my Grandmother's green dragon china cup. She is close in mind and spirit.

A rapid flow of seemingly random thoughts occupy my mind... is it smart for me to play in the Park City Lacrosse Shootout this weekend? Will my hip and knee be strong and healthy? When should I launch my Monday Morning Meditation Series teleclass? Would it be valuable to have Conscious Conversations as a radio talk show? How can I best honor Kristian and my dad for Father's Day? When will my dream of building an integrative wellbeing come to fruition? How do I best serve others? What is the best use of my skills, experience, and wisdom in serving the highest and greatest good?

I allow these questions to simmer. I find myself drifting off - numb - in a sleepy fog. Maybe I need to return to bed.

Morning Gratitude List (June 7, 2009)

This morning I awoke thinking about the FULL MOON MEDITATION CIRCLE I will be facilitating tonight. I imagined us holding hands in a circle and with our eyes closed, speaking out loud the things we were grateful for. It sparked my own sense of gratitude as I lay in bed this morning. Here are some of the things I am grateful for today:

1. My family
2. Riley - for he is my angel, teacher and blessing. I am so grateful for the bond that we share, for his sensitivity and his thirst for life.
3. Kristian - for his steadiness, his support, his commitment and his partnership to me. I am so grateful for our ability to grow on our separate paths, together... and for his willingness to believe in my dreams and visions.
4. My Mother - for her amazing ability to love me unconditionally, to always be there when I need her, for her positive support and constant encouragement, and for her unyielding belief in my potential.
5. My Father - for the lessons of forgiveness, compassion, and speaking your truth that he taught me. For our renewed relationship and his incredible ability to be the best grandfather to Riley that I could have ever imagined.
6. My beautiful home and life in Park City.
7. The skills, knowledge, and abilities I possess on so many different subjects.
8. My vision that has always been with me: "I am a radiant, inspiring and powerful being. I am a vehicle for love and light. I bring hope and healing to everyone I meet and make a meaningful, positive difference in the world."
9. The What - Even though the "HOW" to manifest my vision is not always clear, the "WHAT" (what my vision is) has been very clear and serves as my compass, my hope, and my drive.
10. All the people that are finding value, inspiration and support in my writings and eNewsletters.
11. My mentors, teachers and role models
12. My angels, spirits and guides who have protected me, inspired me, and guided me on my path and who have always made sure that everything works out for the highest and greatest good.
13. My faith in the Universe.
14. My health.
15. My physical body and its ability to move, play all kinds of sports, and be strong and vibrant.
16. The light within me that continues to expand and grow.
17. All the people who have come to Conscious Conversations.
18. My incredible neighbors and friends, the Carriels - for their generosity, support and companionship.
19. Mother Earth - for the trees, the birds, plants, grass, water, sky, moon, and sun.
19. My business partner, Vanessa Laurella - our friendship, trust, and strength of partnership that has grown and matured as we co-create a web of well-being for the community.
21. My eyes and their ability to see, my ears and their ability to hear, my heart and its ability to love and be loved, my sixth sense and its ability to KNOW the way.
22. Lacrosse - my career, the gifts of the sport and all the lessons it taught me that I now use later in life, and the offering it gave me to express myself and be free.
23. Our cabin in Rangeley, Maine that has been in my family for 5 generations - for its uniqueness, for the loons on the lake, for the lessons the woods have taught me, for our family reunions there, for our wedding there, for the atmosphere for me to explore my complete, authentic self.
24. Dark Chocolate.
25. Maine Lobster.
26. Organic coffee with raw milk.
27. My healing gifts that are expressing more frequently through me.
28. My coaching clients.
29. Kristian's career and job.
30. For the new and wonderful friendships that I am attracting and forging.

"Mommy, did I come from an egg?"

"Mommy, did I come from an egg? Did you open me?" Those were the words that Riley spoke to me this evening. Innocent, curious, and inquisitive. His questions were likely spawned from his field trip to Wheeler Farm where he saw eggs that were hatching baby chicks. I replied with "Yes, you came from an egg and that you grew in my tummy and then I pushed you out. He then asked me, "Were you SO brave?". And I answered, "Yes, honey, I was very very brave. It was the bravest moment of my life." As I said that, I recalled the 24 hours of labor and natural birth that I had gone through to bring him into this world almost 5 years ago. It was the hardest and most rewarding processes I have ever been through.

I really never knew the depth of my capacity to love something or someone until I had Riley. Each day, each week, each month, and each year just seems to get even better than I could have imagined. His desire for connection, his appetite for play, his innocence and affection melts and molds me. He touches aspects of myself that I never knew existed and his ability to pretend and imagine sparks a lighter side of my adult self to grow. I seem to take life and everything very seriously and Riley has a way of inviting a more fun approach into my daily life. He is such a gift.

One of my favorite coaching tools is a book I received a long time ago from a friend and colleague named Mary. The book is called, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman (http://www.fivelovelanguages.com). Everyone I suggest the book too has had a profound shift in the way they communicate with their spouse, partner, family members or co-workers. It is a very practical, easy and helpful tool and a book that everyone should read. The 5 love languages are: Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Physical Touch, and Receiving Gifts. You can determine what your dominant language is by taking a simple test. Simply parenting Riley, I can clearly see what his love languages are. I would say this his dominant language is Physical Touch, followed by Words of Affirmation (although he loves receiving gifts too). What has been so interesting is to see how simply rubbing his back, hugging him or holding him puts him at ease. It is as if he calms, he centers, and he grounds himself simply by checking in and receiving physical comfort from myself and Kristian. I have found that when he is tired or about to have a melt-down, I can anticipate his reaction and cut it off by simply holding him, embracing him and being 100% present with words of affirmation. He turns around instantly and I am continually amazed at the effect.