I Have A Body But I Am Not My Body

Thirteen years ago on October 8, 1997, I had an out of body experience. I was studying as an apprentice with a healer and spiritual teacher that included dream work, intuitive development, participating in week-long vision quests, and experiencing incredibly profound insights in the field of consciousness. At that time in my life, I was living on her property, working her organic garden, running my non-profit lacrosse organization, and doing computer consulting for income. In the evenings, when I did not have a group session to attend to, I coached or played lacrosse.

On that night, I was playing in a lacrosse game against a rival team. I was in a competitive mode and wanted to crush the opponent. Within an instant, I made a fake as I drove to goal and immediately heard a pop in my left knee, a sound I knew all too well. It was the third time I tore my ACL (anterior cruciate ligament). This time, instead of going to the doctor, I came home to my teacher and had one of the most amazing, memorable, transformative experiences of my life.

Lying on her couch with my eyes closed, she held my hands and guided me into a deep relaxed state. Energy moved through her hands and into my body as I said out loud, "I will accept whatever experience I need at this time." Within a few moments, I began to describe a scene I was living. One moment, I saw myself on an operating table, surrounded by doctors and nurses. Then, immediately, I felt myself leave the body, floating up and looking down on the scene. Instantly I had this visceral realization that I AM NOT MY BODY. My identity was my soul - or whatever part of me was viewing the scene from above. I could observe, notice, and feel. However, my body was lying on the table as a casing, a vehicle, an instrument for living a human life. I deeply connected to the idea that 'my body is a gift and has a divine purpose, but it is not all of me. In fact, my body is not me.'

With this realization emerged a mantra, "I have a body, but I am not my body".

The session continued with an unforgettable healing of the knee. I saw the tear of the ACL with vivid clarity and then felt and sensed the molecules and cells line up in perfect harmony. Within 24 hours, I went from a swollen, torn, ACL to a healed, strong knee. It was a remarkable and unforgettable healing that absolutely shifted my perspective on life and what our body, mind and spirit is capable of. Our bodies have their own intelligence: they know how to heal, they know what to do, they know how to support our desires, if we will listen and honor them. Note: I will expand on the details of this experience at a later time.

Fast forward almost thirteen years to today. Here, I sit at my desk, 6 months pregnant with our second child. The body has expanded to unimaginable proportions and my baby girl is having a party in my belly as she flips, kicks and changes position while I write. I do not recognize myself with the weight gain that has occurred and I find myself dancing with an attitude of complete acceptance to self-judgment. With my first pregnancy, I gained 70lbs and delivered a 6lb baby! With this pregnancy, I have been exercising, moving, and eating well and yet, it appears I am on track for the same expansion. The lesson to me, and to us all, is to surrender, yet again to the body's intelligence. It knows what to do. I am reminded again that "I have a body, but I am not my body".

One of my lessons in this lifetime is is to bring love, trust, and acceptance to this body. It is a beautiful gift that I have been given. My body enables me to move, to express my ideas, to participate in activities that bring me joy, to observe and interact with nature, to play, and to give birth to life. It is a part of me, but not all of me.

This week, please join me in bringing a deeper sensation of love and acceptance to our bodies. May we individually and collectively shift from judging our bodies to embracing their gifts, honoring their intelligence, and allowing their unique beauty to shine. May we disengage from the cultural imprinting that tells us we have to look a certain way to be loved and admired. May we fully accept and bring gratitude to our bodies - realizing that we are NOT them.

Exercise:

1. In your journal, write a list of all the ways your body allows you to express yourself in this life. What gifts does your body give you on a daily basis?
2. For the next 7 days, read this mantra upon rising out of bed in the morning and just before you go to sleep.

"I have a physical body, but I am something greater than the physical body. The body is important to me - it allows me to act in the physical world and be productive. The body can be tired or rested, sick or healthy, but I am able to observe these changes and even direct them. The higher self, the real me, is greater than the conditions of the physical body. It is the source of vitality within me."

Happy St. Patrick's Day and remember that this Saturday is the Spring Equinox, a very powerful time to align yourself with your passion and purpose.