Jennifer Mulholland's Blog

What Is Your Constitution?

2011-10-17T10:13:00.006-06:00

I believe we are here on this planet to know, love, and fully accept ourselves. When we know, love, and fully accept ourselves, we can know, love, and fully accept others - creating a conscious state of oneness. When we speak our authentic truth, we give others encouragement to do the same. When we understand our constitution, we become more aware of those around us, empowering ourselves to choose experiences that align with who we are and who we desire to become.

Constitution can be defined as:

· (n.) The aggregate of all one's inherited physical qualities; the aggregate of the vital powers of an individual, with reference to ability to endure hardship, resist disease, etc.; as, a robust constitution.

· (n.) The aggregate of mental qualities; temperament.

· (n.) The state of being; that form of being, or structure and connection of parts, which constitutes and characterizes a system or body; natural condition; structure; texture; conformation.

Understanding our unique Constitution is vital for our individual and collective evolution. Identifying our natural condition, the character of our BEing, and our vital powers or beliefs, is essential awareness that can bring about transformational change in our lives. Owning, accepting, loving, and embracing who we are can help us make better choices in our relationships, experiences, and endeavors.

Join me this week in identifying your own Constitution by asking yourself:

What are my natural tendencies?
How am I made up?
What experiences, relationships, and activities do I need in my daily life to thrive?

As an example, here are some aspects that make up my Constitution - the elements that have always been a part of who I am and who I strive to become.

Jennifer's Constitution

...values authentic, honest communication.

...thrives when connecting with others, nature, and all things.

...feels aligned when building communities.

...driven to make a big positive difference.

...centers when the body-mind-spirit is in harmony...

...appreciates positive affirmation and verbal support.

...needs consistent, moderate exercise to feel in balance.

...connects to higher and true self with yoga & meditation.

...rejuvenates with healthy, whole, alive food.

...finds joy in beauty, nature, and friendship.

...loves to write.

...thrives when helping others be their best.

...seeks out connection - with life, mysteries, synchronicities, & all things.

...sensitive to sugar imbalances in the body.

...embodies strong opinions.

...craves learning and awareness.

...defaults to using mental reasoning and processing.

...needs organization and aesthetic spaces to be productive.

Striking The Balance

2011-10-06T10:09:00.000-06:00

October is one of my favorite months of the year - a transitional time where the mountains turn into a patchwork of colors, the air is crisp and the cooler temperatures invite us to bring out our sweaters and settle into the coziness of fall. It is also my birthday month, a time where I reflect on my life and how I have been able to strike the balance of raising and caring for my family, aligning my work with my higher purpose, and following my heart as I strive to walk an authentic and inspired life. It is a month that is governed by the energies of Libra - the symbol of the scales - the ruler of balance.

The forces of Libra invite us to look at how we are effectively utilizing our strengths, living our ideals, and organizing ourselves so we can truly be in harmony with our purpose and paths. It is a time ripe with opportunity to put things in order, to build upon the foundations which have been laid by our past activities or ideas, and to make right use of our intelligence (intellectual, emotional, and intuitive) to make decisions that are in alignment with our values and vision.

Probably the most important influence of Libra is the opportunity we all have to become "master builders", using the talents and abilities we have been given to bring light and love into form. This expression can be seen in building friendships, partnerships, families, organizations, and communities. This expression can be seen in the ideas we initiate, the projects we start, the products we design, and the services we offer. Whatever our expression, we have the capability to tune into our Source, whatever we call it, and ask for it's essence to guide and direct our choices in a way that not only serves our highest and greatest good but the highest and greatest good of all.

Join me in taking a moment to reflect on these ideals by asking yourself:

Do the activities that occupy my daily routine express my ideals and values?
Am I using my strengths to the best of my ability in my relationships, work environment, and personal endeavors?
Are my actions and choices aligned with who I strive to be?

Celebrating The Autumnal Equinox

2011-09-22T09:56:00.002-06:00

September 24, 2011 marks the Autumnal Equinox, the time at which the sun crosses the plane of the equator away from the relevant hemisphere, making day and night of equal length. "Equinoxes fall on the halfway point between solstices and occur, according to the Washington Post, "when the sun crosses the equator and day and night are of roughly equal length, everywhere in the world." It also marks the first official day of Fall where those of us in the northern hemisphere will begin to experience shorter days and longer nights, peaking on the Winter Solstice, December 22, 2011. The Autumnal Equinox is also the time when the sun enters the sign of Libra, the scales, reflecting the balanced day and night of the equinox. This also marks the time when farmers bring in their harvested goods, as I did yesterday with my delicious and organic, corn, zucchini, cabbage, swiss chard, and tomatoes from my garden.

Use this auspicious time to harvest your own bounty, whether that be the vegetables from your garden or the insight and awareness that has grown within you over the past year. Cultivate your creativity. Gather your awareness. Harvest your accomplishments and nestle in to the beauty and comfort that Fall offers you.

Rolling With The Rhythms

2011-09-22T09:54:00.001-06:00

Life is a series of cycles - a conglomeration of ebbs and flows, beginnings and endings that lead to initiations and completions. Like the rhythms of our heartbeat, shown on a cardiogram, our days and weeks are made up of peaks and valleys. These ups and downs give us the opportunity to learn, grow, and expand our awareness while illustrating that change is constant.

For me, this rhythm is acutely noticeable in my physical body. I have days, weeks and even months when I am consistently motivated to BE healthy, active, positive, outgoing, and conscious. And then, there comes a time, when I have no interest in exercising and all I want to do is eat, sleep, and not be responsible for a damn thing.

I've learned that these unmotivated times come in a cyclic rhythm, sometimes predictable and sometimes not. When I attach and resist to these changing tides, I become tense, constricted and grumpy. When I allow them to surge and recede in their own time, with awareness, I am able to shift into a state of appreciation for my body's intelligence and rhythms.

We all have this same opportunity - to observe the changing times and our own highs and lows with non-judgment, centeredness and awareness. With the Fall Equinox upon us tomorrow and a powerful weekend ahead, please join me in giving thanks to the rhythms and cycles that govern our planet and existence. If you feel inclined take it a step further and follow the Awakening Exercise below.

AWAKENING EXERCISE:

Take out your journal or a piece of paper and answer the following questions:

What cycles consistently govern my life? (Think of your relationships, your health, your work)
Write down one or two sentences that describe the theme of this cycle.
What does this cycle have to teach me?
How can I practice loving detachment of this rhythm or cycle that ebbs and flows throughout my life?

Harnessing The Harvest Moon

2011-09-12T09:49:00.000-06:00

The Harvest Full Moon occurs today, September 12, 2011 in Pisces. It is a sacred time when farmers used to harness the soft orange radiance of the moon's glow to cast light on their harvest, picking the fruits of their labor.

The full moon also signifies the end of a cycle, a beautiful opportunity to reflect on aspects of our lives that are helping or hindering us from BEing all we came here to BE. Given this meaning, I invite you to harness the energies of the harvest full moon into your own life by asking yourself:

What is the fruit of my labor that wants to be recognized or honored? ( a project, a decision, a way of BEing).
Once identified, how can I honor or celebrate my own bounty and greatness this week?
What one action step could I take to really nourish my body, mind, and soul this week?

Use the light of the Full Harvest Moon to cast a beautiful orange radiance on your life. Soak in the gentle glow as you celebrate all that you are and all that you are in the process of BEcoming.

Shine The Light On Your Inner Self!

2011-06-21T09:45:00.000-06:00

Today we celebrate the Summer Solstice, the longest day of the year in the northern hemisphere. It is a sacred time when the light of the sun shines forth its radiance to help us turn up the vibrancy within ourselves. This celebrated event encourages us to acknowledge the beauty, wisdom, strength, courage, and uniqueness that makes us who we are. We can pause, reflect, and take notice of the way we are living each day, making sure that our choices reflect the vision and goals we have for ourselves, our families, and our communities.

Our obstacles of life are mostly rooted inside of ourselves. They take the form of unchecked habits, undisciplined choices, and automatic beliefs that have been shaped by the thoughts, feelings and behaviors of the past. These internal obstacles manifest as external ones, for we attract what we are. Because of this, we can use the potency of the light that streams into our planet today to help us see how we are limiting ourselves. Then, we can witness what changes in perspective, habits or beliefs are necessary to free ourselves so we can truly BE all that we were created to be.

Today also marks a time when our Sun enters the Zodiacal sign of Cancer which gives us an opportunity to build a new household of consciousness. In his book, The Forces of the Zodiac, Carl Japikse reminds us that "the forces of Cancer serve as midwife to the emergence of new life - new hopes, new potential, new qualities, new understandings, new skills, new projects, and new directions in self-expression." What a wonderful opportunity to check ourselves half way through the year to ensure we are working towards the life we want to live.

Join me this powerful week as we contemplate the following questions that will help shed some light on your inner-self:

Do I have a personal and/or professional goal I want to achieve this year?
Am I doing something each day to work towards these goals? If not, what daily habit or action step can I take to help make my desires a reality?
What unchecked habits, undisciplined choices, or automatic beliefs are holding me back from experiencing total inner and outer happiness?
Looking back on the summer of 2011, what did I experience that brought me great joy and fulfillment?

As you speak your truth and live a life that is congruent with your passion and purpose, you add to the raising of consciousness within yourself that directly influences the healing and expansion of our collective human experience. Trust your intuition. Honor your magnificence. Shine your light. Have a positively powerful week.

What Is Your Living Legacy?

2011-05-24T09:41:00.003-06:00

On Monday, I viewed the beginning of Oprah's send-off celebration after 25 years and over 4500 episodes on TV. I witnessed the beginning of a tribute that left me teary eyed and in awe. A gathering of thousands of loyal viewers, famous admirers, and friends such as Tom Hanks, Tom Cruise, Beyonce', Madonna, Patti LaBell, and Diane Sawyer, honored a woman that has literally changed the world. Video clips, testimonials, and audience participation highlighted the profound ways that Oprah and the Oprah Show, empowered women, inspired healing, instilled courage, and motivated people all around the globe to wake up not only to who they ARE but who they can BE. And, what was most profound, was to see the positive impact these people are making on their own, NOW.

I found myself saying out loud as a tear of happiness streamed down my face, "You have to be asleep not to notice the shift taking place. Look at this, we are finally honoring and celebrating the empowerment of humanity. This is truly the ripple effect - where one person creates a movement that empowers others other people to create their own movements that lead to incremental and global change. I am so grateful to be alive at this time on the planet."

Oprah's legacy of hope, courage, and empowerment resonates deeply within me and inspires me to stay true to my own calling and authenticity. Her choice to be a powerful agent of service encourages me to do the same. Her commitment to honor her inner voice and inner compass reminds me to stay true to my own course. Her ability to lead, manage, and conduct a symphony of the human spirit awakens my passion and purpose to help people grow and expand.

As I look at my words, I remind myself that I am able to admire those qualities of light in Oprah because they are within me. You see, we are only able to identify qualities that we like or dislike in others because they are the same qualities that exist within us. We can use both perspectives (seeing the admirable traits or the negative, non-admirable traits) as opportunities to help us become more aware of who we are and more committed to who we want to BEcome.

Most legacies seem to be remembered in death. But, that does not need to be the case. Our legacy can form while we are awake and alive with every choice we make. As Madonna stated so eloquently, "Whenever I am asked who my role models are, or to name women that I can look up to, I say - dead or alive? The dead list is long and diverse; the live list has one name on it.... Oprah. Think about it, she has been at the top of her game for 25 years and she is still kicking ass. She fights for things she believes in, even if it makes her unpopular. She has balls and a well of compassion."

Whether you like Oprah or not, her living legacy has left an incredible positive mark on humanity's existence today. Let's use her or someone else you admire, to awaken our living legacies. Take a moment this week and contemplate who you really are and what it is you stand for.

Empowering Exercise:

Use these contemplative questions to help you consciously create your living legacy:

What do you stand for? What values do you want to pass on to your children or communities?
When people describe you, what 3 qualities would they use?
What impact or imprint do you want to leave behind?

BLOOMING AT THE PERFECT TIME

2011-05-20T09:35:00.000-06:00

The "nature of nature is to transform", as Barbara Marx Hubbard, one of my beloved mentors so eloquently states. Barbara Hubbard is a futurist, a pioneer of human evolution, and a respected leader in the field of human consciousness. She reminds me to look towards nature for answers to my own life. As I do, I witness the implicate order in everything that grows and I am more able to observe the Divine Intelligence outside and within.

I am reminded that the perennials in my yard emerge from the soil in perfect timing, without forcing their growth or making it happen. They simply surrender to the forces that nourish them - the sun, the rain, the air. Then, day by day, they grow towards the light that shines down upon them with anticipation, surrender, and an upward reach. When the timing is perfect, they bloom and offer their beauty with radiant colors, richness of texture, and delicious fragrance. Alone, they are beautiful, but when they are placed together they make an even more beautiful garden.

Reflecting on the nature of nature, I laugh at myself when I get into the mode of wanting to control my own growth. Instead of surrendering and allowing the timing to clearly reveal itself, I unconsciously try to make things happen. You see, I am a doer. Ideas come to me easily and often. I feel at peace when I can bring those ideas to fruition. In an effort to experience this peace and fulfillment, I end up creating a self-inflicted urgency to implement the ideas (sometimes all at once). However, instead of resulting in peace and fulfillment, I end up feeling stressed and overwhelmed because I have taken on too much. I highly doubt the flowers that bloom at just the right time of year feel stressed out when offering their beauty to the world.

So, today, I surrender to the divine timing that is inherent in nature, outside of myself and inside of myself. Instead of forcing the expression of my beauty and gifts, I am going to trust that they are shining forth in this very moment without having to DO anything more. I trust that the perfect timing to launch my new ideas, coaching programs, and new business endeavors, will reveal itself effortlessly. I choose to bloom in perfect timing, whenever that may be.

Empowering Exercise:

This week, please join me as we individually and collectively let go of forcing our growth. Allow your Divine Source (whatever that may be) to nourish and nurture your ability to bloom, at home, at work, in your community, or wherever your gifts take root.

Make a list of the areas in your life where you are forcing your growth. In each area, ask yourself:

Is the timing right?
Do I feel overwhelmed with the thought of taking this on?
How can I fertilize this area of my life so that it can more fully express it's natural beauty?

MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME...

2011-05-11T07:36:00.003-06:00

... that I can be anything I wanted to BE.
...that I am special and unique.
...that I have a presence that comes with me wherever I go.
...that my voice matters and expressing it is important.
...that I am beautiful, inside and out.
...that I am worthy and worth it.
... that no matter what I do or say, I will always be loved.
...that family is vitally important and it needs to be cherished and nourished.
...that I am connected to everything.
...that I am guided by Source, whatever that means to me.
...that my attitude and outlook on life is a choice and choosing a positive one will shape my experience.

My mother taught me how to love, how to nurture, andhow to give.

I offer her thanks today for shaping me, teaching me, and loving me as I strive to teach my children, and my children's future children, and their children's children...

...how to love, how to nurture, and how to give.
...that attitude is a choice and choosing a positive one will shape your experience.
...that you are guided by Source, whatever that means to you.
...that you are connected to everything.
...that family is vitally important and it needs to be cherished and nourished.
...that no matter what you do or say, you will always be loved.
...that you are worthy and worth it.
...that you are beautiful, inside and out.
...that your voice matters and expressing it is important.
...that you have a presence that goes with you wherever you go.
...that you are special and unique. And,
... you can be anything you want to BE.

A WISH FOR MAY

2011-05-11T07:33:00.001-06:00

MAY you find comfort in the mystery of life, trusting that everything is unfolding in perfect Divine order.
MAY you connect to the higher light within you, following its direction as it guides you to the people, experiences, and circumstances you need.
MAY you give yourself permission to BE with whatever IS.
MAY you notice the signs and synchronicities that grace your path.
MAY you sprinkle love upon yourself, fully accepting all that you are and all that is BEcoming within you.
MAY the month of MAY germinate your seeds into beautiful bouquets of delight, peace, and joy as you step into the best version of your SELF and your CREATION.

Finding Comfort In The Unknown

2011-04-23T11:06:00.004-06:00

When we are out of sync with our life purpose, the Universe provides subtle nudges that invite us to change our course. When we ignore them, they turn into wake-up calls that beckon us to shift.

All around us, change is happening. In fact, it has become a cliché that "the only thing that is constant is change itself." Surprises, unexpected events, opportunities, victories, and losses are all a part of being human. Despite this, it appears that we are living in a period of history where change is actually speeding up (documented by scientists studying the earth's rotation, planetary alignment, and quantum forces upon the planet of which we live).

So, what can we do about it? How do we find comfort in the change? Can we find inner peace in not knowing how events, decisions, projects, and plans will work out? Can we trust that our lives are unfolding and evolving exactly as they are meant to?

I believe the answer is YES.

We have a choice... We have a choice to resist what is happening to us or trust that clarity in the midst of confusion will be revealed at just the right time.

We have a choice as to how we perceive the events that are happening to us. We can allow them to shake us up, stress us out, and take us into a state of confusion, doubt, fear, and worry. Or, we can allow them to help us grow into the evolving human beings we are meant to be. The difference between which way we lean can come down to how stable, secure, and safe we feel inside of ourselves.

We can learn to access this powerful inner state of peace by turning within, by quieting our monkey minds, and by finding serenity in the silence that resides within our cells. With practice, we can quickly learn how to slow our breath rates when we feel stressed, we can learn to access our heart's intelligence when we feel scared or afraid, and we can learn how to find comfort in the mystery of our lives as they unfold, change, and evolve.

This week, I invite you to begin your own practice of inner peace. Here are a few steps to get started:

As soon as your feet touch the ground when you get up in the morning, say "Thank You" to your Source, to the day, to the unfolding events that are helping you become the best you can be.
Then, go to a quite place (a chair, a couch, another room) and sit comfortably for 3 minutes. Close your eyes and focus on your breath. Literally, feel your body inhale and exhale, breathing in clear, light-filled, pure air, and exhale tightness, tension, and any thoughts or ideas that are not serving the best person you can be.
Continue your conscious breathing and place your awareness in your heart space. Bring in a memory that fills you with joy, happiness, or peace. Connect to the feeling this experience brings you. Allow this feeling to fill all of the cells of your body.
With time and practice, you can extend the duration of your conscious breathing and heart centered awareness that will allow you to access this space in times of change, stress, and the unknown.

CULTIVATING CONFIDENCE IN OUR CHILDREN ... AND OURSELVES

2011-04-23T10:59:00.006-06:00

How do we teach our children to believe in themselves? How do we empower them to make positive choices when we are not by their side?

These parenting questions occupy my mind as I work on cultivating and nurturing the consciousness in my children.

I believe parenting is a giant experiment, one that requires us to model the behaviors we wish to see emulated while trying different techniques that work for the unique personality of each child AND parent. There is no cookie cutter solution or instruction manual that tells us how to do it which beckons us to share what works with one another. Different approaches work for different people at different times.

In my opinion, we must first begin with our own awareness. Ask yourself:

What values, principles, and behaviors am I passing onto my children?
Are these messages shaping positive, empowering behaviors? Or,
Are these messages limiting the potential of my child's expression and gifts?

Seriously, ask yourself these questions. Look at the answers and if they are not the ones you want, change them. You have that power and you can change what you are modeling at any time.

As I shared in a previous writing, one of the greatest rituals that we incorporate into our daily parenting routine is the 5 Most Important Things. This bedtime ritual helps to form a positive foundation that empowers our children to make positive choices on their own. I often hear my son referring to them unexpectedly and in the appropriate context, which shows me they are helping to shape his belief structure and behavior.

Here are our 5 Most Important Things:

Always Be Your Best.
Speak Your Truth and Shine Your Light.
You Can Achieve Anything You Put Your Heart and Mind To.
Mommy and Daddy love Riley, Hadley, and Each Other No Matter What.
You Are What You Take Time To Become.

These 5 principles have come from within us, from past generations, and our lineage into a form of communication for our children. If you resonate with this ritual, I encourage you to create your own 5 Most Important Things... and have your children help co-create them with you. Then, share them with others on my Executive Awakening Facebook page (just search for the Executive Awakenings page and LIKE it on Facebook, then post your 5 Most Important Things).

How to manifest what you want

2011-01-20T14:14:00.001-07:00

I was featured on ABC's TV show called The Daily Dish on Thursday, January 20th. Click on the link below to learn about the Creation Ritual and do it yourself to manifest what you want to experience this year.

How to manifest what you want

To your greatness!

I Have A Body But I Am Not My Body

2010-03-17T16:21:00.000-06:00

Thirteen years ago on October 8, 1997, I had an out of body experience. I was studying as an apprentice with a healer and spiritual teacher that included dream work, intuitive development, participating in week-long vision quests, and experiencing incredibly profound insights in the field of consciousness. At that time in my life, I was living on her property, working her organic garden, running my non-profit lacrosse organization, and doing computer consulting for income. In the evenings, when I did not have a group session to attend to, I coached or played lacrosse.

On that night, I was playing in a lacrosse game against a rival team. I was in a competitive mode and wanted to crush the opponent. Within an instant, I made a fake as I drove to goal and immediately heard a pop in my left knee, a sound I knew all too well. It was the third time I tore my ACL (anterior cruciate ligament). This time, instead of going to the doctor, I came home to my teacher and had one of the most amazing, memorable, transformative experiences of my life.

Lying on her couch with my eyes closed, she held my hands and guided me into a deep relaxed state. Energy moved through her hands and into my body as I said out loud, "I will accept whatever experience I need at this time." Within a few moments, I began to describe a scene I was living. One moment, I saw myself on an operating table, surrounded by doctors and nurses. Then, immediately, I felt myself leave the body, floating up and looking down on the scene. Instantly I had this visceral realization that I AM NOT MY BODY. My identity was my soul - or whatever part of me was viewing the scene from above. I could observe, notice, and feel. However, my body was lying on the table as a casing, a vehicle, an instrument for living a human life. I deeply connected to the idea that 'my body is a gift and has a divine purpose, but it is not all of me. In fact, my body is not me.'

With this realization emerged a mantra, "I have a body, but I am not my body".

The session continued with an unforgettable healing of the knee. I saw the tear of the ACL with vivid clarity and then felt and sensed the molecules and cells line up in perfect harmony. Within 24 hours, I went from a swollen, torn, ACL to a healed, strong knee. It was a remarkable and unforgettable healing that absolutely shifted my perspective on life and what our body, mind and spirit is capable of. Our bodies have their own intelligence: they know how to heal, they know what to do, they know how to support our desires, if we will listen and honor them. Note: I will expand on the details of this experience at a later time.

Fast forward almost thirteen years to today. Here, I sit at my desk, 6 months pregnant with our second child. The body has expanded to unimaginable proportions and my baby girl is having a party in my belly as she flips, kicks and changes position while I write. I do not recognize myself with the weight gain that has occurred and I find myself dancing with an attitude of complete acceptance to self-judgment. With my first pregnancy, I gained 70lbs and delivered a 6lb baby! With this pregnancy, I have been exercising, moving, and eating well and yet, it appears I am on track for the same expansion. The lesson to me, and to us all, is to surrender, yet again to the body's intelligence. It knows what to do. I am reminded again that "I have a body, but I am not my body".

One of my lessons in this lifetime is is to bring love, trust, and acceptance to this body. It is a beautiful gift that I have been given. My body enables me to move, to express my ideas, to participate in activities that bring me joy, to observe and interact with nature, to play, and to give birth to life. It is a part of me, but not all of me.

This week, please join me in bringing a deeper sensation of love and acceptance to our bodies. May we individually and collectively shift from judging our bodies to embracing their gifts, honoring their intelligence, and allowing their unique beauty to shine. May we disengage from the cultural imprinting that tells us we have to look a certain way to be loved and admired. May we fully accept and bring gratitude to our bodies - realizing that we are NOT them.

Exercise:

1. In your journal, write a list of all the ways your body allows you to express yourself in this life. What gifts does your body give you on a daily basis?
2. For the next 7 days, read this mantra upon rising out of bed in the morning and just before you go to sleep.

"I have a physical body, but I am something greater than the physical body. The body is important to me - it allows me to act in the physical world and be productive. The body can be tired or rested, sick or healthy, but I am able to observe these changes and even direct them. The higher self, the real me, is greater than the conditions of the physical body. It is the source of vitality within me."

Happy St. Patrick's Day and remember that this Saturday is the Spring Equinox, a very powerful time to align yourself with your passion and purpose.

Awakening into Oneness: Part II

2010-03-09T16:20:00.001-07:00

This week, I strive to share continued insights and reminders that I gained from attending the Oneness Experience, a certification process for becoming a Oneness Blessing Giver. One of the key themes that deeply resonated with me was the importance of "Getting Out of our Minds".

For most of our human existence, we have been taught and culturally conditioned that our intellect is one of the most important tools to sharpen, attend to, and grow. We are taught the importance of learning - the acquisition of knowledge and information. We are encouraged to go to school, to get good grades, to test well, and to demonstrate our smarts in everything we do. We are rewarded for our wit, our ideas, and our analysis of situations with respect, promotion, and admiration. The more we are rewarded, the more importance we place on the use of our minds.

At some point in our lives, our intellect seems to be taken over by mental chatter and distraction, consuming our brain. The tool we have relied on for making decisions and choices somehow becomes clouded with unconscious thoughts, noise, and the voice of our inner critic. I call this our Monkey Mind. The Monkey Mind distracts us and creates a state of disconnection, judgment, and suffering. The Monkey Mind wants us to believe that suffering occurs outside of ourselves and tells us, "because of that, I am this", or "because this person did this to me, I am this way." This is how the Monkey Mind gains power. The truth is this... the Monkey Mind does not want to be responsible for creating the internal suffering we experience. It wants us to blame, judge, and hold onto the belief that suffering is a result of our external environment and world. When we buy into this, we blame others and hold the external responsible, giving enormous power to the problem. We empower the problem rather than empowering ourselves!

How do we catch ourselves in this natural human cycle? How do we shift from blaming and judging everything that appears to be outside of ourselves to becoming responsible within ourselves? How do we end the suffering?

One approach is to realize that THOUGHTS HAPPEN AUTOMATICALLY. Thinking is an automatic function of the brain. We are not the one who is thinking!

This is so important to digest and I invite you to really soak this concept in.

* What if you could observe your thoughts all the time without attaching to them?
* What if you could fully embrace that your mind automatically does the thinking?
* What if you could understand that this automatic thinking emerges from lifetimes of experiences, unconscious beliefs, cultural influences, and group mind?
* What if YOU were NOT your thoughts?

When we shift into observation and detach from the Monkey Mind, we begin to witness the Monkey Mind as an empowering tool rather than a disempowering one. By observing our thoughts without experiencing the self-judgment and shame that comes with attaching to its voice, we can then make new conscious choices that serve our highest and greatest good. We then take responsibility and empower the divine wisdom that lives within.

Join me this week in observing your Monkey Mind. Create the space to contemplate these questions and write the answers down in your journal.

1. How active is your Monkey Mind? (Do you experience it's involvement once a day, multiple times a day, or all the time?)
2. When is your Monkey Mind active? (Does it kick-in to overdrive at night when you are trying to go to sleep? Does it kick-in when you have an important meeting or interaction with someone?)
3. What does your Monkey Mind say to you? (What statements or words does it speak inside of your head?)

Receiving Deeksha or the Oneness Blessing is another wonderful way to quiet the Monkey Mind. Come join us in stillness and community at Vie Nouveau on Monday, March 15th, 22nd, and / or 29th at 7:30pm or at Conscious Conversations on Monday, April 5th at the Golden Door from 6-8pm.

Increasing Our Awareness

2010-03-02T16:18:00.000-07:00

Monday night proved to be another amazing Conscious Conversations. The new format included; a guided meditation, Deeksha (a.k.a. The Oneness Blessing), and conversation that worked incredibly well. It was a joy to connect with so many beautiful people sharing insights, reflection, and stillness together and the ambiance of the Golden Door provided a wonderfully nurturing environment for our souls. We gave ourselves a time-out from our hectic lives by creating the space to be still and open to receive the energy of the Divine. Thank you to all who attended and especially the 5 Oneness Blessing Givers who offered the gift of Grace to move through them for everyone to experience.

Increasing our awareness is a key step in awakening to our greatest selves. As we become more aware of who we are, what we desire, and what we are naturally good at, our PURPOSE, PASSION, and TALENTS begin to merge. When this occurs, we tap into our potential and are able to live the lives we long for. Increased awareness empowers us to make conscious choices - thereby shifting from reacting to life to creating magical moments and experiences. With awareness, we learn that we have the capacity to become deeply connected to ourselves, each other, and to our world. All we need to do is take a few moments to listen ourselves.

During Monday's Conscious Conversations, I lead a guided meditation called "Increasing Awareness". I thought I would share some key excerpts from the meditation with those of you who could not attend. I invite you to take a moment this week to increase your awareness of Self, your relationships, and your environment.

Awareness Exercise:

1. Create a sacred space for you to reflect and connect with your highest self. Play instrumental soothing music, light a candle, and/or surround yourself with objects that bring you peace. Have a journal and pen next to you. Sit or lie down in a comfortable position.

2. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Draw your attention onto your breath and notice how it feels to inhale and exhale. Find your own natural rhythm. Notice what it feels like to be sitting still. Observe your thoughts and allow them to pass by like floating clouds. Invite the monkey mind to take occupancy someplace else. This is your time - your sacred time to connect, expand, and increase your awareness of self.

3. Bring your awareness into your body. What does your body feel like? Notice where you are feeling free, in rhythm, and in harmony with your breath. Notice where you feel tension, tightness or constriction. Simply notice. Ask your body if there is anything you need to be aware of. Invite its intelligence to speak to you. *When you are ready, open your eyes and write down the answers in your journal.

4. Going a little deeper now, connect to the light that shines within you - call this your Higher Self, your Intuitive Self, your God Self, your "I AM Presence" (whatever you resonate with as the name for your higher power is perfect). This is the source that is infused with wisdom, truth, love. This is the place where your purpose and passion are one. This is the voice of your potential. Allow this part of you to become known to you now. What are its qualities? What does this part of you feel like? What does this part of you desire? Are its needs being met? Invite this intelligence to speak to you. *When you are ready, open your eyes and write down the answers in your journal.

5. Shifting your attention from within to your outer world, bring your awareness to the relationships that are predominant in your life today. Invite the images of your loved ones, friends and/ or colleagues who are sharing your energy, attention, and time to come into your mind now. What does it feel like to be in relationship with them? Are you in harmony with each relationship? Or is someone draining your energy and challenging you to the core? Simply notice what relationships are imbued with ease and flow and which ones seem to feel disconnected or in discord. Take a moment to feel the connection you share with the relationships you are in. What is it like to be in relationship with them? Putting yourself in their shoes, what is it like to be in relationship with you? *When you are ready, open your eyes and write down the answers in your journal.

6. The environment we live in, work in, and participate in - influences our ability to thrive and live to our greatest potential. In this state of deep relaxation, allow a deeper awareness of your external environment to emerge now.

Bring your attention to your home environment: is it supporting you and nurturing you? Can you come home to ground, recharge, and manage your daily activities?

Bring your attention to your work environment: Are you in alignment with your passion and purpose here? Are you supported and given the freedom to offer your creativity, insight, and contributions?

Bring your attention to the town or state you live in. Does this location suit your ability experience well-being in lifestyle and livelihood?

As the answers come into your awareness, take notice of how you feel, what you see, what you hear. *When you are ready, open your eyes and write down the answers in your journal.

Wishing you a wonderful week. Please see below for announcements and new resources.

Awakening into Oneness: Part 1

2010-02-23T15:21:00.003-07:00

This past weekend, I received my certification as a Oneness Blessing Giver. The Oneness Blessing, also known as Deeksha, is an act of energy transfer by touch or by the power of intent and results in the expansion of consciousness.

"The Oneness Blessing is a non-denominational experience that transfers physical energy, awakening our connection with the oneness in everything, allowing each of us to deepen our relationship with those we love, with ourselves, with strangers and with our creator. The Oneness Blessing initiates a neurobiological change in the brain. There are 16 centers in the brain responsible for definitive experiences like sensory perception, emotions of jealousy, hatred, fear, compassion, love, joy, separation, connectedness, creativity, learning, etc. The Oneness Blessing results in the activation of certain centers and the de-activation of certain other centers thus bringing about a shift in the perception and experience of life." To learn more about the Oneness Blessing or Deeksha, visit: http://www.onenessuniversity.org/.

I came across the Oneness Blessing (Deeksha) in 2007 through a series of rapid synchronistic events. I had signed up to attend the Being Fearless Conference, a weekend workshop in NYC put on by the Omega Institute. The week leading up to the conference, I witnessed one of the most beautiful sunrises in Park City on my way home from the gym. I remember pulling over my car, rolling down the window, and welcoming the sun's rays into my hands that were facing the sun. As I stared at the beauty of the light, I began to notice a pulsing circular golden light that expanded in rhythm around the sun. It seemed as if there was a beautiful golden orb encompassing the sun. Later that day, I went was in a bookstore, when my eyes caught sight of a book called, Deeksha. I had never heard of the word before, but the image on the front cover startled me. It was the exact image of the sun rise I had seen that morning. Trusting the Universe's nudge, I bought the book and began reading it. I was fascinated, enthralled and inspired by the content and description of Deeksha and the Oneness movement. The words spoke to me, supported me, and completely resonated with my life's path. A few days later, I was on a plane to the Being Fearless Conference and noticed a full day pre-conference intensive called, Awakening into Oneness, given by Arjuna Ardagh. It was there that I learned and experienced the gift of grace and witnessed the power of oneness spreading around the world.

At that time, the only way to become a Oneness Blessing or Deeksha Giver was to go to India for a three week intensive training. Having a small child, that journey would not be possible. But all things that are meant to be happen in their own time. For the next 3 years, I attended Deeksha gatherings to receive the energy transfer and even created the Oneness Circle in Park City where I facilitated group meditations and self-discovery processes, while my friend and colleague, Craig Malecker gave Deeksha. These experiences created a new found self-awareness, inner peace, and connection to my inner and outer world.

During these three years, the training matured, fine-tuned, and opened up in such a way that it came to the United States for weekend certifications. Fortunately, this gift became available to me and I jumped on the opportunity to participate this past weekend in the Oneness Experience, a certification training to become a Oneness Blessing Giver.

The Oneness Experience was a beautiful, transformative, loving adventure of self. Emphasis was placed upon clearing up your relationships with forgiveness, love, and compassion. Principles were centered on the importance of "getting out of our minds" and increasing our self-awareness of our inner and outer world. Some of the teachings were basic, fundamental, and core to life. Yet, somehow we forget them and miss living them with consistency and integrity. My teachers, Janet Eakin and Linda were educational and unconditionally loving. They created a nurturing learning environment for me to reflect and deeply connect to my inner self. I am truly grateful to have received the information and teaching from and through them.

In the forthcoming eNewsletters, I will share my key takeaways and insights with you from the Oneness Experience. They are worth paying attention to and will absolutely assist you in living to your greatest potential, as they are me.

Uncoditionally Loving Ourselves

2010-02-02T16:58:00.002-07:00

While vacationing this week in beautiful Hanalei, Kauai I seem to dance in and out of sleep as I adjust to the time change. This morning, I was awoken out of my dream state with a predominant thought and realization: ‘My personal awakening and expansion is dependent upon my ability to unconditionally love myself’.

As Valentine’s Day fast approaches, we are invited to romance not only our partners and lovers, but ourselves. How do we do this? How do we equally turn the attention that is projected outside of ourselves to inside towards our SELF? I believe it takes awareness, commitment, and action.

Awareness: How often are we judging, criticizing, shaming ourselves in regards to what we look like, what we say, and what we do? Has the voice inside your head repeatedly claimed statements of judgment, shame, and criticism like; “I am too fat, I am out of shape, I am not good enough, I am not …?”

The key to bringing increased self-awareness into our daily living is to catch the inner critic that takes residence in our head. We can catch it with observation and detachment. Notice what you say to yourself when you look in the mirror, observe how you judge yourself quietly and out loud to others, and detach with unconditional love. A great way to observe with awareness is to write down all the ways you limit yourself, all the ways you judge yourself, and all the ways you tell yourself you are not good enough. Go ahead, write them down in a journal and observe the trend.

As Robin Sharma says, “Better awareness, leads to better choices, which lead to better results.”

Commitment: Make a commitment to your Self that you will stop the inner shaming, blaming, and judging. Make a commitment to your Self that you will blanket your inner voice, body, mind, and spirit with unconditional love. This is a deep act of accepting who you are without having to change anything.

Action: This month, choose to take three actions that will demonstrate your unconditional love of Self. Here are some ideas and suggestions:

Read my blog entry, “What is your Love Language?”
Identify your dominant love language by reading, “The Five Love Languages” and choose a way that you can honor the way you experience love for yourself. For example; if “Words of Affirmation” is your dominant love language, explore some ways that you can positively affirm yourself this month with mantras, statements, and encouraging words. If “Quality Time” is your dominant love language, identify ways that you can spend meaningful time with your SELF this month. Discover what you deeply desire and long for, explore your passions, give voice to your longings, and write them down.
On Valentine’s Day, schedule time to romance your Self. Think ahead and plan some activity or gesture that would give you the love, attention, and romance you seek. What would make you feel special? What would nourish your heart? What experience would nurture your soul?

Receive a massage
Enjoy your favorite food
Experience a micro adventure – take a drive, take a walk in nature, do something new…
Take a bubble bath
Buy yourself or pick yourself some flowers (depending on where you live)
Write yourself a love letter and include all of the things you wish you to hear

Please join me this month on a journey of unconditional self-love. Make your Self a priority. Bring awareness to how you treat your Self and commit to shift your inner chatter from criticism to complete acceptance. When we love ourselves unconditionally, we radiate a new vibration of love towards others. It is the ripple effect. So, this month if you are experiencing anything less than joy, love, and freedom with the relationships you are in, turn the attention on your Self and uncover the love that you have been waiting for. It all resides within.

To delight in SELF LOVE, please come to Conscious Conversations on Monday, February 15^th at the Golden Door (located at the Dakota Mountain Lodge) in Park City, Utah. We will be meeting in the Gathering Room at 6pm. I will be starting the evening with a guided group meditation invoking the resonance of self-love, followed by inspiring one on one conversation.

From Caterpillar To Butterfly

2010-01-14T12:55:00.003-07:00

While in Salt Lake City yesterday, in between business meetings, I picked up the local Catalyst magazine – one of my favorite new age publications dedicated to healthy living and creating a healthy planet. I happened to turn right to an article entitled, Spontaneous Evolution, written by one of my most admired authors and scientists, Dr. Bruce Lipton. In this article as well as his latest book, called Spontaneous Evolution, Dr. Lipton speaks about our ability to evolve, spontaneously rather than slowly. He references that our planet is facing “what scientists are calling the Sixth Great Mass Extinction. The previous five being caused by objects from outer space, such as comets hitting the Earth. This time, the cause comes from ‘inner space’ – our own invisible beliefs.” On one level, if you have been paying attention, this is not new information. Scientists, Astronomers, Physicists, and ancient cultures have been telling us that we are on the verge of a major shift in human evolution. The solar system is changing, our earth is changing, the polar caps are changing, our DNA is changing, our physical bodies are changing, our government systems are changing, and the environment we live in is changing. In many cases, what used to work for us, is no longer working – requiring us to adapt and change. We have a choice as to how we want to evolve as a species.

I found Bruce Lipton’s analogy of the caterpillars spontaneously transforming into butterflies, an inspiring comparison and model to look towards regarding our human choice and behavior. Hopefully, you will find it equally as powerful and relevant.

“Imagine you are a single cell among millions that comprise a growing caterpillar. The structure around you has been operating like a well-oiled machine, and the larva worlds has been creeping along predictably. Then one day, the machine begins to shudder sand shake. The system begins to fail. Cells begin to commit suicide. There is a sense of doom and gloom.

From within the dying population, a new breed of cells begin to emerge, called imaginal cells. Clustering in community they devise a plan to create something entirely new from the wreckage. Out of the decay arises a great flying machine – a butterfly – that enables the survivor cells to escape from the ashes and experiences a beautiful world, far beyond imagination. Here is the amazing thing: The CATERPILLAR AND BUTTERFLY HAVE THE EXACT DNA. They are the same organism, but are receiving and responding to different organizing signals.

That is where we are today. When we read the newspaper and watch the evening news, we see the media reporting a decaying caterpillar. And yet everywhere, human imaginal cells are awakening to a new possibility. They are clustering, communicating, and tuning into a new, coherent signal of love.

We are now between two worlds – the caterpillar world where our future is limited by our creepy-crawly past, and the butterfly world where humanity can soar to reach its highest potential. Unlike the shift from caterpillar to butterfly, transformation of humanity is not inevitable. It requires our participation. We have the choice to live in and reinforce the limitations imposed by fear and past programming. Or we can attune ourselves to the new signal of love and live that instead.” – By Bruce Lipton and Steve Bhaerman in the Catalyst (January, 2009), pg. 15-17.

This week, please join me in choosing love rather than fear; harmony rather than discord; and honesty rather than deceit. Our single cell behavior impacts multi-cell organisms that can change the world. Our spontaneous evolution is up to us.

THE INVITATION

2010-01-04T13:59:00.006-07:00

By Oriah Mountain Dreamer from the book, The Invitation

"It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream. for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow,
if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy - mine or your own,
if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day.
And if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes."

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments."

The Invitation, by Oriah Mountain Dreamer, has always been one of my favorite poems. I came across it this weekend as I was shredding papers and discarding of old papers, copies of old bills, and files that no longer serve me. As I re-read this poem, I was reminded of my search for my true Self - my light, my authenticity, my soul. It reminded me to strip all of the excess baggage away - to discard the pretenses, armor, and falsehood that may occupy my space - physically, mentally, and emotionally. It reminded me that each of us is being invited to embrace who we are - the light and the dark - in our search for meaning, our search for happiness, our search for health, and our search for love. It reminded me of the importance of being alone with myself and truly enjoying the company I keep in those moments.

In 2010, we are all being invited to step into a new world that we co-create with ourselves and with each other. What do we want our experience to be like? What is the Universe inviting us to explore this year?

Please join me tonight at 6pm in Park City to explore The Invitation at Conscious Conversations. We will begin the evening with a beautiful group meditation, anchoring in the new light that is brightening within all of us. We will begin at 6pm at Rikka in Park City (Kimball Junction in the Silver Mountain Building). Please bring a candle and donation.

New Years & Full Blue Moon & Lunar Eclipse!

2009-12-30T13:09:00.002-07:00

This New Years Eve is set to be a very powerful transition - influenced by the combination of a Blue Full Moon, a Lunar Eclipse, and the closure of 2009 with the emergence of 2010. A full blue moon is the second full moon that occurs in the same month.

Each one of us has a beautiful opportunity to make this event a prominent shift in our lives. Cosmically, we are being invited to release our masks, our pretenses, our judgments, our resistance, and allow the light that is within all of us to awaken and shine more brightly than ever before. We are being asked to discover and know who we are. We are being asked to define what we want to experience. We are being encouraged to make new choices that align with our inner source - expanding our potential and setting boundaries for anything that contracts us.

As we wind down the year, please join me in making time to digest: What has unfolded over the past 12 months? What needs to be released? What do I deeply desire to create for myself, my loved ones, and for my world?

Below are some questions and actions to consider.

What areas in my life need cleansing?

Clothes: Go through your closet and make a pile of any item you have not worn for the last 6 months to a year. For every item you are on the fence with, try the piece of clothing on and ask yourself, “Do I love this piece of clothing?” How do I feel wearing it?” If you do not feel beautiful or handsome, confident, or simply good, GIVE IT AWAY. Clear the clutter in your closet and give the clothes away that you don’t absolutely love to someone else that may need it (a friend, family member, charity).

Food: Go through your kitchen pantry, refrigerator, and freezer. Throw out any leftovers that have gone bad. Check the expiration dates and discard items that have exceeded their expiration. Look at your food and ask yourself, “Will this nourish my body? Will it fill me with energy and vitality?” Make a choice as to whether you are going to keep the items that deplete your energy sources rather than increase your energy supply. Place any non-perishable food items that are still good but no longer serving you in a grocery bag to give to your local Food Bank (or Food Donation drop-off).

Medicine / Supplements: Look through your medicine cabinet or area where you store your vitamins and supplements. Look at the expiration dates and discard anything that has expired. Throw out any supplements or medicine that no longer supports your health and well-being now.

Beauty: (Men this may not apply to you). Go through your makeup drawer or compartment. Throw out any old make-up that you do not wear or has become really old. Clean out this space and disinfect the area. Get a drawer organizer or make a compartment for your Eyes, Lips, Face and place your makeup in the areas accordingly. Make a list of replacements of new makeup that you need or desire (visit: www.eyeselipsface.com for some affordable options).

Papers and Files: Go through your file cabinet. Shred and discard your old paperwork, copies of bills, statements, and records that you no longer need to keep. Recycle old magazines that you have not read.

Mental Attitude: Take an inventory on your outlook of life. Are there any areas that seem to be creating repeating cycles of negativity and stagnation? If so, identify what dominant thoughts might be contributing to your experiences, remembering that YOU are the common denominator. If you are not experiencing what you deeply desire, than make a commitment to change your attitude and change your thoughts about the situation(s) that come to mind.

Friends & Relationships: Take an inventory of your friends & relationships. Write their names down on a piece of paper and ask yourself, “Do I feel expanded or contracted in their company?” “Can I express my authentic self to them?” “Am I filled with joy and happiness when I am with them?” Then, review your answers. Allow yourself to make new friendship & relationship choices in 2010. Choose to spend more time with people that fill you with joy, expansion, and love. Commit to nourishing 1-3 existing or new friendships differently this next year. What could you do to bring your essence of friendship to these relationships? What do you need to do to create distance or separation with the people that contract you? Make this shift with conscious choice and no judgment.

What do I dream of experiencing in 2010? What do I deeply desire to create for myself?

How do I want to consistently feel?

What support structure do I need in order to accomplish my goals and dreams?

What goals do I want to accomplish?

Who can I enlist to support me?

May you discover that your dreams really can come true. May you honor them in 2010 and allow them to come to life. May you shine your light and live to your potential more than you could ever imagined. May you feel how much you are loved, supported, and cared for. May you know how deeply grateful I am for your presence and support in my life.

Wishing you the most POWERFUL and AMAZING TRANSITION into the BEST YEAR OF YOUR LIFE.

Happy New Year!

Winter Solstice Rituals & Reflections

2009-12-17T12:23:00.007-07:00

The Winter Solstice, occurring on Tuesday, December 22, is one of the most powerful days of the year. It is the day in the Northern Hemisphere where our existence into darkness is at its peak. It is also a day of transition - when we begin to move out of this darkness and into the light. The Winter Solstice is marked by the shortest day and longest night and it is a turning point for humanity to welcome the Sun back into our lives. It is a special time for celebration.

This powerful day is always a sacred time of reflection, release, and intention for me which is usually marked by the Winter Solstice Circle that I facilitate and host for the community. Although I deeply enjoy the opportunity to lead such a magical gathering, I have decided that my energy needs to be reflected inward rather than outward this year. This solstice, I will be nourishing my Spirit and the Spirit of the growing baby inside of me (yes, I am pregnant), as I release what no longer serves me while intending to manifest what my heart deeply desires. I choose to bask in a state of gratitude for all the blessings I have been given, all the gifts and skills that have been nurtured throughout my past, and for all the abundance, enlightenment, and expansion that is on its way.

In this vein, I have decided to share some Winter Solstice rituals with you. Please join me in reflection, release, and celebration - on your own or with your chosen group of gathering.

Winter Solstice Rituals and Reflections:

Before you begin, you will need:

· Soothing music

· Candle and matches

· Individual pieces of paper and scissors

· Fireplace or contained bowl that can have fire in it

· Pillow or Cushion

· Journal and pen or computer laptop

· Blank piece of paper with envelope

1. Create your peaceful environment: Find a quite space where you will not be interrupted for a period of time (at least 45 minutes). Turn on some instrumental, soothing music in the background. Surround yourself with objects that have special meaning to you (pictures, stones, feathers, artifacts, and memorabilia) that represent your true essence. Have a pillow or cushion that is comfortable for you to sit on.

2. Ignite your fire: Build a small fire (either in your fireplace or in a contained bowl).

3. Cut pieces of paper that you can write on and have a journal and a pen by your side.

4. Once you have created your comfortable, nurturing, peace-filled environment, sit on your pillow and light a candle. As you do this, imagine the light is the light that is always glowing within you. CLOSE YOUR EYES and begin to focus on your breath. Notice how it feels to inhale and exhale. Quite your mind by focusing only on how it feels to breathe. Invite your higher power - whatever it is you believe in (God, Angels, Spirits, Guides, Jesus, Buddha, etc.) to be present with you NOW. Open your eyes whenever you feel called to.

5. Ask yourself: What will no longer serve me in 2010? Write down any behaviors, beliefs, experiences that no longer serve you on the separate pieces of paper. Review them and ask yourself, "Am I really willing to let these go?"

6. Make a pile of all the papers that you are willing to release. Then, burn them (in your fire place or a bowl)- releasing their energy and attachment into the ethers.

7. Once you have completed that, ask yourself,

· "What do I really want to experience in 2010?",

· "What does my heart deeply desire?"

· "What would nurture and nourish my Spirit this coming year?"

Write the answers to these questions down in your journal - or type them on your computer. Then, imagine yourself experiencing those things. See them - feel them. Bring the experience viscerally into your body. Imagine your dreams and desires coming true.

8. Once you have finished this, write or type yourself a letter and date it December 22, 2010. Start the letter with "As I look back on 2010, I am so grateful that ...." and write down all of the things you want to experience next year. Be specific and allow your passion, intention, and dreams to come out.

9. Once you have finished your manifestation letter, place it in an envelope and self address the envelope (put your name and address in the return address place too). Seal the envelope and put it in a safe place where you will remember to retrieve it a year from now. OR - you can give it to a friend that you trust to hold onto it and who will send it back to you just before December 21, 2010.

** For those of you who participated in this exercise last Winter Solstice, keep a look out for your manifestation letters arriving in the mail. It gave me great joy to send out over 50 letters that I have been holding in my safe for 12 months. I blessed each letter with a prayer and the smoke of sage - asking that each one of your dreams and desires came true. Thank you for giving me the gift of being the steward of your letters this past year!

May you enjoy a fabulous holiday season. Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. Happy Kwanzaa. Happy Holidays. Happy New Year!

May the light of your Spirit enfold you. May the power of your Spirit watch over you. Wherever you are, Your Spirit is there, and All is Well.

Questioning Our Intentions

2009-12-03T14:47:00.003-07:00

Between now and December 21st, we are being influenced by the forces of Sagittarius. Sagittarius is a time "of rediscovery - a time when we renew our aspiration and rechart the direction in which we are heading in life. Yet in no way is it a time to yearn to return to the 'comfortable' life of the past. It is a time to harvest the wisdom of our past experiences, integrate the talent and strength and understanding we have acquired, and invest them in a thorough overhaul of the personality, so we can push forward into the future, along the course the soul has set for us." - Carl Japikse from The Forces of the Zodiac

These energetic forces seem to be stirring things up - physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. For me, modes of operating and communicating no longer seem to be as effective as they were before. As a result, I search deeper within myself for meaning, for alignment, and for what is motivating my intentions. I have come to learn that every intention is motivated by either a NEED or a FEAR. As such, we are being given the opportunity to go deeper and really understand what that is.

In recent reflections, I have come to identify that my intention to experience deep connection is motivated by my need for authenticity. I am repelled by fakeness, fallacy, and pretense. I strive to speak the truth, hear the truth, and see the truth. For many years, I have experimented with ways of expressing this truth - thinking at times that my view was the right way and the only way. Yet, I am coming to realize that truth is how we perceive it. How we view the world and each other depends upon our perceptions - which are always formed by experiences, our memories, and our belief systems. Each one of us may have a different truth. We may experience each other differently, and we likely view the world differently.

This month, I am working on finding a non-dual solution to express my authenticity. I am searching for a way that allows me to discover, honor, and express my truth without it having to be the only point of view. The way I am practicing this is to share my observations, my insights and experiences openly and honestly AND AT THE SAME TIME be genuinely interested in discovering, learning and hearing other points of view and perspective with EQUAL value, compassion and respect. It sounds easy, but how often do we really listen to each other with the same amount of attention and care that we desire to receive ourselves?

The other experiment I am running is only sharing my opinion when I am asked. WOW, is that hard! You can't even begin to imagine how challenging it is to get through one day (especially being a coach)! I invite you to try it out with me.

These examples are ways to rediscover ourselves and rechart the direction in our lives. We can do this by bringing that which is unconscious (our need or fear that is motivating our intentions) to our awareness. When we do this, we become more clear about who we are, why we are the way we are, and who we desire to be. With this new level of self awareness, we are able to make better choices that align with deliberate action rather than automatic response. For me, this is something I continue to strive for.

Please join me this week in reviewing your INTENTIONS and shifting your automatic responses to deliberate choices.

1. Write down the intentions you have set about anything (a relationship, work, money, health, etc).
2. Ask yourself what is the need or fear that is motivating your intention? Write the need or fear down for each intention.
3. Revise your intention such that your need or fear is really being nurtured and supported.
4. Write down some deliberate choices or actions you can take to honor your new intention.

In the spirit of sharing and connection, I invite you to post your intentions and reflections HERE in the comments box! That way, we can all learn from one another.

Bringing the Darkness into Consciousness

2009-10-29T09:58:00.002-06:00

“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” - Carl Jung

On Monday, November 2 at 2:14pm Eastern Time and 11:14am Pacific time, we will experience the Full Moon in Taurus. This full moon invites us to embrace the shadow aspects of ourselves by bringing light and awareness to areas that have been dormant, hidden, or running our lives unconsciously. We are being called to reform beliefs, behaviors and values that no longer serve the highest expression of ourselves. This full moon is a call for Truth, influencing our ability to face and embrace our shadows, our inner saboteurs and inner critics.

One way to expose the shadow within ourselves is to fully witness and observe its voice, needs, and gifts.

What is the voice of our inner saboteur saying to us?
What does this voice (or aspect of ourselves) need?
What is the gift the saboteur is offering us?

During the coming weeks, we have a powerful opportunity to bring conscious awareness to the dark shadow aspects of ourselves. We can do this by acknowledging how strong this voice is within us. We can begin to see the gift in the shadow if we allow ourselves to observe it’s antics with love, acceptance and detachment. How has our shadow protected us, motivated us, and inspired us to be the person we are today?

Please join me Monday night for a Full Moon Meditation Circle from 5-6pm before Conscious Conversations begins. We will come together in community and tune into the forces of the Taurus full moon using the singing bowl, meditation, and quite contemplation. We will invoke the light to shine on the hidden aspects, hidden potential, and covered up dreams that lie within us, asking for the truth of our desires to be known.

Happy Halloween!

Getting Out Of My Mind

2009-10-20T07:59:00.002-06:00

Stillness. Warmth. Peace. Suspended in time and space. This is how I felt last night, receiving Deeksha from three Deeksha Givers at Vie Nouveau in Park City.

Deeksha, also known as the Oneness Blessing or Gift of Grace, is a "a transfer of spiritual energy to the neocortex of the brain. Deeksha initiates a neurobiological change in the brain that when complete enables the senses to be free from the constant interference of the mind. When the senses are unclouded by the mind's interpretations, a natural clarity of perception occurs with accompanying spontaneous feelings of joy, inner calmness and a connection to the Oneness in everything."

Deeksha is transferred by the Deeksha giver by placing his/her hands on the top of the head. Once this occurs, I immediately feel a download of energy enter my crown chakra traveling down through the top of my skull. The energy is intense and it instantly shifts the mind from thinking to being. Often, I become paralyzed or suspended in a state that is filled with love, warmth, and complete acceptance of all that is. It is one of the few times throughout the month where my mind can completely rest from its daily duties of analyzing and understanding.

The mind has served me well. It has helped me analyze information and use its intelligence to make sense of life, people, circumstances, and experiences. It has become my default for understanding why things may happen. The mind has helped me manifest my dreams through the power of intention and visualization. However, the mind has it's limits and I am just beginning to deeply sense them. On my journey to raise my own consciousness and the consciousness of others, I am beginning to realize the importance of getting out of the mind.

Debbie Ford articulates the importance of this life-changing shift in her new book, The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse. "When you allow your intellect to direct you rather than simply inform you, it limits what you can see, what you can do, what you can feel, and what you will experience. This is why contemplative practices are so important; they lift you out of your mind. When you're out of your mind, you're free, you're peaceful, and you can see beyond your current reality. This is the life-changing shift: the ability to let go and open up to new realities over and over again to break out of the illusion that what you see and what you know are right or real."

Meditating, walking in nature, connecting with our breath, yoga, writing in a stream of consciousness, and receiving Deeksha are all ways that can help quite our mind and expand the possibilities for ourselves. The opportunity we collectively share is to begin to use our minds as an informant rather than our master. As we quite the mental chatter and empty ourselves from the limiting beliefs that are stored in our psyches, we open ourselves to the magic of life - a state where we are open to surprises and we become a "vast container into which the divine infinite source can flow through us." (Debbie Ford).
This week I invite you to practice getting out of your mind by:

Taking a walk in nature and observe your surroundings in gratitude
Listen to the Moola Prayer in quiet contemplation
Light a candle and stare at the flame. Bring the image of the flame inside of you as if it is your internal flame. Feel the warmth of light that glows within you. Connect to your Divine Source.
Purchase Debbie Ford's new book: The 21-Day Conscious Cleanse and dedicate yourself to the practice for next 3 weeks.

Mark your calendar to attend the next Conscious Conversations (with a Full Moon Meditation Circle proceeding it) on Monday, November 2, 2009 at Rikka in Park City.

A Model of Courage

2009-09-15T10:05:00.007-06:00

On or around September 28th on his 41st birthday, Chris Waddell will summit Mount Kilimanjaro. At 19,340 feet, Mount Kilimanjaro is the tallest mountain in Africa and the tallest freestanding mountain in the world. What makes this journey so unique is this: Chris Wadell will be the first paraplegic to summit it. He will do this in the "Bomba", a one-of-a-kind, 4-wheel hand cycle propelled entirely be arm power.

Chris Waddell was a promising young skier at Middlebury College in 1988 when a skiing accident left him paralyzed from the waist down. Determined to get back on the slopes, he began skiing on a monoski roughly one year later. A little more than two years later, Waddell was named to the US Disabled Ski Team. Chris went on to become the most decorated male skier in Paralympic history, winning twelve medals over four games, and spending a total of 11 years on the US Disabled Ski Team.

Since then, Chris has dedicated his courage and commitment to "shining the light on the disabled and has launched "One Revolution", the motto for his expedition along with the name of this documentary which will capture his journey to summit Kilimanjaro. "One revolution means so many things to me. One revolution of the hand cycle, one revolution of the earth, one lifetime, one moment, one change to make a difference."

Chris is a model of courage to me. He represents commitment and determination. He inspires me to stay true to my highest vision despite the obstacles that may be in my way. He demonstrates to humanity that ANYTHING is POSSIBLE. He has a gentleness of spirit that radiates out into the world, make it a better place to be. I am so grateful to know Chris and thank him for being a remarkable gift.

This Sunday, Chris will leave for his expedition. Please join me in sending prayers, positive thoughts and support to Chris and his team for a successful experience. I invite you to visit his website, learn about how he is donating wheel chairs and hand cycles to people in need, watch his videos, and donate to his cause.

To cultivate your own courage this week, ask yourself these three questions:

How do I limit myself?
What words, statements, inner dialogue do I use to keep myself playing small, safe, or living inside my box?
If I had the courage that Chris Waddell embodies, what would I summit?

Photo courtesy of Mike Stoner.

The Vows We Make

2009-09-10T15:25:00.003-06:00

Yesterday, on 9/09/09 at 9:09:09am, I had the honor to officiate a beautiful wedding ceremony for two soul mates that finally found each other. The number nine in Feng Shui represents happy and prosperous conclusions that bring completion to a cycle so the birth of a new one can be created. The day and timing of this wedding was consciously chosen for this reason.

A wedding is one of the most special events that I get to be a part of in an intimate way. Each ceremony I have performed has been co-created with the bride and groom, weaving in stories of how they met, what they love about one another, and what commitments they want to make. As a result, sacred space is created and I am given the gift to witness the raw, genuine, and powerful love between two people.

During each wedding ceremony, including my own, great care and thought is given to the vows we make to our partners. A vow, like a contract, is a promise that we consciously claim, committing ourselves completely to the other. Throughout the relationship, we strive to keep true to our vows with daily action, choices and behaviors. Here are a few of my favorite examples:

"I promise to love you as a mystery: loving what I know of you, trusting what I do not yet know, and supporting what you become."

"I promise to truly love you with kindness, faithfulness, and respect through every circumstance that life may bring."

"I commit to do whatever is needed to have our marriage succeed."

"I intend to appreciate you every day in your uniqueness, and support your expressions of authenticity."

"I intend to hold you in my heart with honor, respect, love and gratitude."

"I will communicate with you openly, honestly and with kindness."

"It is my deepest intention to be present with you always and in all ways."

As you reflect on some of these vows as well as the ones you made in your own marriage or partnership, allow yourself to remember the feeling of love that was expressed and felt on that special day. Soak in the love, soak in the connection.

This week, I invite you to reflect on the vows you have made with yourself as well as your partner. Take out your journal and reflect on the questions below.

What vows did you make to your partner and/or yourself?

Are you living up to your commitments to your Self and /or to your partnership?

Do the vows that you made to your Self and/or to your partnership need to be revised?

If you would like support or guidance in revising, creating, or renewing your vows to your Self or to your loved one, please call upon me to assist you.

What Is Your Love Language?

2009-09-01T14:45:00.002-06:00

We communicate the way we want to be communicated to. Unfortunately, when we do that, the person we are communicating with may not hear us or get what we are attempting to express. Therefore, it is essential that we know our own language and the language of those we are communicating with.
At the end of the day (and during the day for that matter), we all want to experience love. That is the dominant force behind being human. We are born to give love, experience love, and receive love. We communicate verbally and non-verbally to experience love, whether we are conscious of it or not. According to Gary Chapman, there are five love languages that are used to experience this quality. In his book The Five Love Languages, Gary focuses on how to express heartfelt commitment to your mate. He claims that there are five ways people express their love. They are:

1. Quality Time
2. Words of Affirmation
3. Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch

After reading his book several years ago, I had my own ‘aha’ which has translated into using this book as one of my favorite coaching tools with my clients. Prior to reading the Five Love Languages, I demonstrated my affection, love and gratitude towards my husband through ‘words of affirmation’. Specifically, I would use encouraging words, highlighting his positive traits and behaviors with appreciation and admiration. However, this never produced the connection I was hoping for. In fact, it seemed to push him away. I would notice that he would numb out or tune me out, as if he did not think what I was saying was real or had meaning. After taking the test in the book, we determined that his dominant love language is ‘acts of service’. This made total sense. The way I was communicating with him to express and experience love did not resonate with the way he experienced or expressed love. I was missing the mark.

Understanding that my husband experiences love through ‘acts of service’ invites me to be more conscious about how I connect with him. This does not mean that I don’t express myself with words of affirmation. Rather, it means that I am more aware of how he wants to experience my love and I include acts of service or acts of kindness into my behavior towards him.

Although the test in the book is incredibly helpful (and I would encourage you to take it), you don’t have to complete the test to understand the love language of yourself and others. In fact, once you become familiar with the traits of each language, you can easily identify their tendencies with family, friends and co-workers. For example, it was easy to spot my son’s language again this weekend. My husband and son were playing baseball at the beach in Bear Lake, Utah while I was sitting on a beach chair talking with a friend. All of a sudden, my son ran over to me and said, “Mommy, when I am up at bat say “Go Riley Go, Go Riley Go!” I laughed and marveled at his need for affirmation and verbal encouragement, which has been consistent ever since he was born.

Once you understand what your love language is, you can begin to identify the love language of others (those you work with, those you are in relationship with, those you interact with every day). This has been so helpful to me. Whether I am managing someone, leading someone, or supporting someone, if I can identify their love language and communicate in the way they can hear me, our relationship thrives. If communicating with someone is not working, or I sense they are in resistance to me, I have a cue that reminds me to identify their love language. Then, I have a choice to communicate in their words or mine. This conscious shift usually neutralizes the resistance and supports a more connected experience.

This week, I invite you to contemplate how effective your communication is with the relationships that mean the most to you. If there is anyone that you are not completely connecting with, observe whether you are communicating on your terms or theirs? Notice what their love language might be. Notice your own love language. Make a different choice on how you communicate and listen. Open your heart to give, experience and receive love.

Pitter Patter Down My Face...

2009-08-18T07:19:00.001-06:00

I was awoken at 5:30am today by the sensation of moist feet walking across my forehead and down my left arm. They were tiny and quick and belonged to a mouse – a real indication that sleeping in our camp is as close to camping as you can get. As soon as I realized it was a mouse, I found myself inquiring within as to what Mouse represents in Animal Medicine. I have been raised to believe that every animal has a message or wisdom to share with us, and we can tune into their gift by understanding what they represent. Although I left my Animal Medicine reference book at home (called Animal Medicine Cards), I recall that Mouse represents Scrutiny and the importance of noticing the details. On one hand, Mouse could be reminding me that my ability to perceive situations and information is strong. It could support my conversation that I had with my brother before I went to bed regarding the importance of analyzing life in the details. On the other hand, Mouse could be encouraging me to grow and pay even more attention.

For today, I ponder my life with more focus, inspired by the Mouse that literally visited me. What details am I overlooking as it relates to my life focus? What action plan do I need to revise in order to experience my greatest potential? What steps are necessary for me to take in order to publish my book? What actions are required to receive funding for the Lotus Wellbeing Group, a company I have been building for the last 2 years that will offer health advocacy, coaching, and educational services that focus on empowering and teaching people to experience complete well-being. This is the message of Mouse that I choose to hear today.

Morning Meditation by the Lake

2009-08-16T08:39:00.005-06:00

I awoke this morning to a calm, still and peaceful lake. The air is warm with a humid mist in the air. Feeling a little bit off in balance, I went down to the water's edge to meditate and center myself. I sat cross legged with my hands wresting on my legs, palms facing the sky in quite contemplation. I focused my attention on my breath and began a conscious connection to my inhalation and exhalation - deepening my oxygen intake with each cycle. Quietly to myself, I thanked my body for it's support and tolerance of my demands and judgment and as I asked it for forgiveness, I felt the tension in my hips and pelvis release into the roots of the ground that I sat upon. Then, I opened my eyes in a soft gaze. In my peripheral vision, I immediately noticed a Loon fishing in front of me, diving deep into the water and then arising with an open beak. I connected to its essence and thanked it for it's presence in my life. In Animal Medicine, the Loon represents Leadership. I continually marvel at this representation since the Loon has been one of my guides ever since I was a little girl. I recently learned of it's meanining within the last 10 years which supported my belief in the magic and mystical synchronicity of the Universe.

After observing the stillness that surrounded me, my awareness tuned into the sounds in the woods that encircled me. The call of the crow, the splash of a duck, the lapping of gentle waves from a boat along the rocky shore. I could hear voices from my family sitting on the porch in the near distance. I suddenly was aware of my own awareness - how easy it is to tune it up or numb it out.

I took the 13 Moon Oracle Card Deck in my hands and began to shuffle them with my energy and intention for insight on this day. Before I asked a question, a portion of the cards popped out of my hands landing one perfectly on my left knee. Without further adue, I knew that this one was the card I was meant to read today. It was the card of Change and the Frequency of Purple. It spoke to me as all my cards do - intuitively knowing the exact insight or words that I need to hear at that moment. Through the interpretation, I learned that the color purple resonates to the Frequency of 11 which is a master number as thought by the Mayans. Interestingly, my birth chart and astrological readings indicate that my master number is also an 11. According to the 13 Moon Oracle book, 11 is the number associated with the final clearing before entering a higher order of being - a springboard into an entirely different frequency range of experience. I resonate with this idea and feel that an emergence of something new within myself is being birthed.

Check that off my Bucket List

2009-08-11T14:14:00.001-06:00

Since I was a little girl, I heard of grandma’s accomplishment of swimming across Rangeley Lake. I don’t know the year that she did it but it was a story I heard about each time I visited our camp. In the back of my mind, I always wondered if I could do the same and in the most recent years, I have felt an urge to do it myself. So, I put it on my Bucket List.

Well, today was the perfect day to honor her legacy… and we did it. At around 10am EST this morning, Kristian and I adorned our wetsuits (me in a shorty and Kristian in a wetsuit top) and hopped in the boat with my brother and Riley to be taken to the other side. We both thought it would be easier to swim towards the dock as home base rather than away from it, which turned out to be a good choice. The lake was unusually calm for our task and the sun was out shining bright. As soon as we got in the water, a Loon welcomed us with its call and presence. In unison we began to freestyle across the lake, swimming just a little over a mile in 50 minutes. Chris rowed the boat next to us to ensure we were safe and protected from the other speed boats that pulling water skiers nearby. Thoughts of grandma and her legacy filled my head as I took each stroke. Upon each breath I caught glimpses of Kristian and I swimming in harmony side by side and felt such gratitude for being able to share these moments together. My thoughts drifted in and out of complete presence to gratitude – especially for the lake and all it has given me over my lifetime. I found myself thanking the Lake for it’s ability to nurture my soul, clean my body, and release the physical and non-physical impurities from myself. I thanked it for being the home of my favorite creature – the Loon – for it’s majestic beauty and piercing voice. I thanked my body for being able to accomplish this feat. I thanked Kristian for being the best husband, partner, and father I could have ever dreamt of as I glided with him side by side.

We were greeted and celebrated by my mom, holding my nephew – baby Jake on the dock. It was a beautiful accomplishment and I felt relieved and grateful to check that one off my Bucket List.

Goodbye Grandma

2009-08-09T15:15:00.002-06:00

The heat from the flames warms my shins as I sit by the fire in my robe. This is how I dry off and warm up from bathing and swimming in the lake after a mid-afternoon run. The wind has shifted, indicating inclement weather may be on the horizon. As a young girl, I learned how to forecast the weather by observing which way the wind would blow across the lake, which turned out to be surprisingly accurate.

Yesterday we had a beautiful day putting my grandmother to rest and welcoming an old friend I hadn’t seen for 20 years. We awoke to the sun shining and decided that it was the perfect day to have Grandma Barta’s ceremony. So after my nephew, Jake went down to sleep, we all headed into the woods to honor her life and bury her ashes. There we sat in a circle, surrounded by trees, overlooking the lake and dock. The spot we had picked felt so right for her, as this was her place – her home – her heart. We opened the circle by smudging the space with a sage smudge stick left over from my wedding in 2003 and left it burning throughout. Mom, Chris, Barbara, Kristian, Riley and I honored her by reading some of her best poems about Rangeley Lake, the Loons, and Camp from her latest edition of her Poetry book. We shared memories, tears, and laughter as we reminisced about the magnificent, passionate, inspirational, and powerful woman she was. I shared a continuation of the words I spoke in her ear just before she took her last breath in a poem I wrote entitled You Are To Me.

You Are To Me:
You are the ripples on the lake
And the call of the Loon
You are the joy in the Hummingbird
And the peace in the forest
You are the exuberance of the wind
And the gentleness of the rain
You are the tradition of camp
And the fragrance in the flowers
You are the bounce in the Rebounder
And the sweetness of Pine Tree

You are my inspiration
And a carrier of my legacy
You are courage
You are strong-willed
You are my teacher
You are my gift
You are my great grandmother

Thank you for all the lessons you taught me on the earth…

For I learned from you…
…the importance of walking the walk
…what judgment is
…the value of having a dream
…the power of believing in myself
…the power of a positive attitude and the reality that one can heal thyself
…to appreciate beauty – in the flowers, in nature, in clothes, in things, and in people
…to love entertaining and bringing people together to enjoy great food and friendship
…to love horses and the freedom and partnership they would teach me
…to love to garden – connecting with the life force of Mother Earth
…to appreciate wide open spaces, fields, meadows and lakes
…the importance of movement and the joy in writing

You showed me the necessity of dreaming and knowing where you want to go
You taught me about energy – the forces that empowers our vitality as well as the healing energy that comes through our hands
You taught me not to try but do it with all my might and mind
You showed me what fear looks like and what dying is about for I witnessed a transcendence of peace and surrender as your Spirit passed on

So thank you for what you are to me. I will miss you and bid you adieu with the signature you passed along to me.

With love & light,
Jennifer

We all signed the box that contained her ashes and all took a turn placing the dirt to cover the hole where they will rest. We placed flowers and a blue hummingbird ornament next to her grave and placed the headstone securely in place that read “Judy Barta – Love & Light – 1920-2009”. The sun casted its light in delicate detail and we felt complete and blessed.

I feel Grandma’s Spirit all around. She knows we are here and I will always feel her presence in my heart. I am grateful for all the gifts she has taught me, for she was one of my most powerful teachers. With that, I bid her adieu and return to my family time by the fire.

Reflections on the Poch

2009-08-06T11:27:00.000-06:00

Here I sit in the green rocking chair on the ‘poch’ (as Mainers would pronounce), overlooking Rangeley Lake. Our camp (another local term for a lakeside cabin) has been in my family for 5 generations and I have spent a part of every summer here for 37 years. Memories of our wedding, my brother’s wedding, hearing the loons call, skinny dipping, napping in the hammock, lobster dinners, running into town, Pine Tree Frosty’s, boating to the Bog, seeing Moose, listening to the sea planes, picking raspberries and blueberries, and pumping our drinking water from the well flood my brain. Memories that remain consistent from generation to generation are ones that give me great joy to pass along to my son.

We arrived late last night after a comical day of travel – delays at JFK, sitting on the tarmac while Riley had diarrhea, spilling of salad dressing in our seat with no napkins, and eating a salad with no utensils. Despite the comedy, we were welcomed by the glow of the full moon on the lake and my favorite loons calling to one another that sent a frequency of peace and joy throughout my body and soul. We were also welcomed by my brother, Chris, his wife Barbara, and my mom (their baby Jake was sleeping). Riley was so excited to arrive and was telling everyone about the three Moose we saw on the way in – including a baby. It gives me so much joy to see how excited he is to be here and I relish in observing the memories he is creating for himself.

Tomorrow we will celebrate my grandmother’s passing with an intimate family ceremony as we spread her ashes over the property and place her headstone overlooking the lake. We will read some poems out of her poetry book and honor her legacy with thoughts, prayers, and words. I feel Grandma’s essence here and I am confident it will never fade, as camp was where her heart always lived.

The wind begins to pick up on the lake as the clouds cover the warm sun. I am bundled up in a sweatshirt and sweatpants as I hear the chirping birds and chipmunks get louder in the trees that surround me. A speed boat passes by and it makes me wonder if I am really going to swim across the lake this year. That feat is one of Grandma’s many claims to fame – she is the only one in my family who has ever done it. I thought it would be the perfect way to honor and celebrate her this year, by joining her ranks and doing it myself. Although, from where I sit gazing out into the blue water, the distance of a mile and a half looks quite daunting. Thank God I have my wetsuit and my husband to Kayak next to me… I know I can do it.

I plan to write more during my time here, as it is one of my most favorite things to do while here at camp. It is a little different typing on my computer rather than writing in my journal, but I feel compelled to share my reflections with those who are interested and it seems that this is the most efficient way to do so.

Stay tuned for more…

My experience with Romey Stuckart and Berta Kuhnel

2009-07-01T12:06:00.001-06:00

A year after I had Riley, I began to feel a moving ball like lump in my solar plexus, two inches above my belly button. It felt like something was inside of me that should not be there. It would get very active in the evening and I would toss and turn wondering what it was. After several months, the intensity and irritation began to increase so I began to seek medical and holistic attention. I had an array of tests; Endoscopy, GI Series, MRI, CT Scan, Blood Tests, Stool Tests, and Urine Tests. After an intense period of prodding and probing, no one could figure out what was causing my pain. Then, in a last ditch effort, it appeared that the CT scan was showing that I could possibly have Superior Mesenteric Artery Syndrome (SMA Syndrome for short), a “rare, life-threatening gastrointestinal disorder characterized by the third portion of the duodenum by the abdominal aorta and the overlying superior mesenteric artery.” That was my diagnosis. The problem was that I did not have any of the symptoms associated with this diagnosis– no nausea, no vomiting, no spontaneous weight loss. The doctors were stumped and I was told to live with it.

Frustrated and determined to figure out what was going on inside of my abdomen, I intensified my search and experience with holistic practitioners. I experienced an assortment of Shamanic Journeys, Soul Retrievals, Psychic Readings, Craniosacral, Deeksha, and Health and Nutrition Counseling. I found myself not only experiencing some of these healing modalities but getting trained in them (Theta Healing, Matrix Energetics, and Reiki). I was growing, learning, and healing on many levels. Despite the profound and transformative experiences I was having, the sensation in my stomach were still there.

Then a friend of mine referred me to a Shaman named Berta Kuhnel. In one session, over the phone she was able to scan my physical body and clearly see two parasite nests. She located them exactly where I was feeling the discomfort (2 inches above my belly button on top of my Ileocecal valve and at the corner of my descending to transverse colon). She could see the parasites moving and making a trail between the two nests, damaging my intestinal wall. I felt relief and support as this is what my intuition was telling me. She recommended that I do a parasite cleanse. That’s when I became frustrated again. I had tried 2 parasite cleanses before, thinking that this was the issue and experienced no success. When I shared with her my feelings of despair, Berta explained to me that sometimes the synapses in our brain can go “offline”. She shared that it is like we blow a fuse as a result of stress or situation and the brain may disconnect from recognizing that things are going on in the body. Berta hypothesized that my brain was not recognizing that it had a parasite and therefore the parasite cleanses did not work. What was needed was a re-wiring or NeuroLink to ensure my brain was online and connected to what was going on in the body. She referred me to Romey Stuckart.

A week later, on Friday, January 23, 2009, I connected with Romey for an introductory and information gathering telephone conversation. During that call, Romey conducted a brief assessment, asking questions about my discomfort, about my physical/mental/emotional state of being, and about what Berta had picked up in her scan. I shared with her my thoughts, journey, and history of when I thought this all started. I expressed that I thought I picked up this parasite on my honeymoon when Kristian and I traveled to Hong Kong, Thailand and Bali.

Romey then explained to me that my brain is meant to be in charge of maintaining my health in every aspect. The brain has a blueprint for what is normal for every function in the body. When we have been through something that is overwhelming to our system we can "blow a fuse" so to speak and cause "down power lines" basically losing the communication within the body. If the brain then doesn't see what's going on it doesn't move to correct and things can get out of synch. The aim of a Neurolink session is to find out which circuits are no longer intact and re-link the brain’s control over them—re-establishing communication. My brain then finally "sees" what is going on--compares it to the blueprint, and finding it out of my normal range-- goes into self correction. So basically my brain achieves the necessary corrections over a course of 33 scans that Romey conducts.

Having a better understanding of what I would experience and having exhausted most of my other options, I decided to give it a try. Romey said that she would likely be conducting the first Neurolink sometime later in the week and likely on Wednesday. I did not have to be available on the phone, she would be conducting this on me without my physical participation. She mentioned that if I am sensitive to energy, I may want to take it easy as it may feel like I am detoxing a bit. We ended the call and I hung up feeling hopeful about the possibility of actually getting some relief and resolve and I went about my busy week.

On Wednesday afternoon, I was hit by a Mack truck. I could not lift my head off of the couch and felt like I got infected with the most severe case of the Flu. I did not know what happened to me. I had incredible tension in my head and sinuses and it felt like my brain weighed 1000 lbs. I could not move. I could not do anything. I was surprised at my state of being since I rarely get sick. What the hell was happening to me? After about 5 hours of resting, sleeping and not moving, I awoke. Out of my sleep, it dawned on me that it was Wednesday; the day that Romey said she would be conducting the Neurolink. I mustered some strength to get up and check my computer to see if there was any report in my email inbox that would indicate the Neurolink was conducted. Sure enough, there was the report and Romey had begun the Neurolink at exactly the time that I felt laid out.

The report indicated that I had several infections showing up from the first Neurolink scan. They were protozoa infection in the large intestine, a viral infection in my spleen and pancreas and fungal infections in my liver, large intestine and spleen. She commented that I might feel like I am detoxing for a few days and should stick to drinking water throughout the day along with an ant-Candida diet for two weeks.

After a week went by, Romey conducted the second session of the Neurolink. The report showed that I held all of the attunements with the exception of some jamming of my lumbar/sacral area. The additional scan indicated that I had Mercury toxicity, a bacterial infection in my spleen/pancreas, fungus in the upper thoracic effecting the Dural integrity, and tendon weakness in my Illio Lumbar ligament to name a few. Romey felt that the Mercury in my spleen and pancreas was likely to be the main culprit of many of my physical symptoms, creating an ideal environment for parasites and Candida to thrive. She indicated that it would likely take a couple of weeks for the Mercury to move out of my system as a result of the Neurolink that was conducted. We would follow up together in two weeks time.

When we followed up with one another, my body was showing that it was holding the attunements very well. The bloating in my belly that I was experienced had significantly decreased and I felt clearer and cleaner than before. We discussed the idea of beginning a Parasite cleanse now that my brain would recognize what was going on inside of it Feeling comfortable and more optimistic, I decided to give it a try and began the Parasite cleanse (simply taking some herbal supplements and eating a yeast free, sugar free, wheat free diet) for thirty days.

Walla! It worked! The activity in the belly significantly subsided. The irritation in my intestinal wall began to heal and my energy returned. I could sleep at night and intuitively felt the parasites were gone. I felt empowered that my body knew how to heal itself, I felt encouraged with my results, and I felt hopeful about my future.

Working with Romey Stuckart and Berta Kuhnel has been truly a gift. They both worked WITH me to co-create the highest possible outcome for my personal healing and wellbeing. They tapped into my energy body as well as my physical body to initiate healthy change and alignment. They were catalysts that acted as co-creative partners with my highest self – scanning, reading, and assessing my current state and supporting my physical body to re-connect to a balanced state where it can now thrive. I am so thankful for these Angels and consider them to be on my Life Board of Directors, my team of advisors that support and assist me in reaching my dreams.

P.S. Two months later I received a follow up scan from Berta which indicated that both parasite nests were gone – there was no evidence of any activity.

Rainy Thoughts

2009-06-17T23:35:00.004-06:00

It is 11:30pm as I sit here listening to the rain fall from the sky outside my office window. I awoke when Riley strolled into bed with us not able to return to sleep. Instead of lying in bed awake with wandering thoughts occupying my head, I decided to get up and be somewhat productive. So here I am sipping Chamomile and Lavender tea from my Grandmother's green dragon china cup. She is close in mind and spirit.

A rapid flow of seemingly random thoughts occupy my mind... is it smart for me to play in the Park City Lacrosse Shootout this weekend? Will my hip and knee be strong and healthy? When should I launch my Monday Morning Meditation Series teleclass? Would it be valuable to have Conscious Conversations as a radio talk show? How can I best honor Kristian and my dad for Father's Day? When will my dream of building an integrative wellbeing come to fruition? How do I best serve others? What is the best use of my skills, experience, and wisdom in serving the highest and greatest good?

I allow these questions to simmer. I find myself drifting off - numb - in a sleepy fog. Maybe I need to return to bed.

Morning Gratitude List (June 7, 2009)

2009-06-07T08:22:00.006-06:00

This morning I awoke thinking about the FULL MOON MEDITATION CIRCLE I will be facilitating tonight. I imagined us holding hands in a circle and with our eyes closed, speaking out loud the things we were grateful for. It sparked my own sense of gratitude as I lay in bed this morning. Here are some of the things I am grateful for today:

1. My family
2. Riley - for he is my angel, teacher and blessing. I am so grateful for the bond that we share, for his sensitivity and his thirst for life.
3. Kristian - for his steadiness, his support, his commitment and his partnership to me. I am so grateful for our ability to grow on our separate paths, together... and for his willingness to believe in my dreams and visions.
4. My Mother - for her amazing ability to love me unconditionally, to always be there when I need her, for her positive support and constant encouragement, and for her unyielding belief in my potential.
5. My Father - for the lessons of forgiveness, compassion, and speaking your truth that he taught me. For our renewed relationship and his incredible ability to be the best grandfather to Riley that I could have ever imagined.
6. My beautiful home and life in Park City.
7. The skills, knowledge, and abilities I possess on so many different subjects.
8. My vision that has always been with me: "I am a radiant, inspiring and powerful being. I am a vehicle for love and light. I bring hope and healing to everyone I meet and make a meaningful, positive difference in the world."
9. The What - Even though the "HOW" to manifest my vision is not always clear, the "WHAT" (what my vision is) has been very clear and serves as my compass, my hope, and my drive.
10. All the people that are finding value, inspiration and support in my writings and eNewsletters.
11. My mentors, teachers and role models
12. My angels, spirits and guides who have protected me, inspired me, and guided me on my path and who have always made sure that everything works out for the highest and greatest good.
13. My faith in the Universe.
14. My health.
15. My physical body and its ability to move, play all kinds of sports, and be strong and vibrant.
16. The light within me that continues to expand and grow.
17. All the people who have come to Conscious Conversations.
18. My incredible neighbors and friends, the Carriels - for their generosity, support and companionship.
19. Mother Earth - for the trees, the birds, plants, grass, water, sky, moon, and sun.
19. My business partner, Vanessa Laurella - our friendship, trust, and strength of partnership that has grown and matured as we co-create a web of well-being for the community.
21. My eyes and their ability to see, my ears and their ability to hear, my heart and its ability to love and be loved, my sixth sense and its ability to KNOW the way.
22. Lacrosse - my career, the gifts of the sport and all the lessons it taught me that I now use later in life, and the offering it gave me to express myself and be free.
23. Our cabin in Rangeley, Maine that has been in my family for 5 generations - for its uniqueness, for the loons on the lake, for the lessons the woods have taught me, for our family reunions there, for our wedding there, for the atmosphere for me to explore my complete, authentic self.
24. Dark Chocolate.
25. Maine Lobster.
26. Organic coffee with raw milk.
27. My healing gifts that are expressing more frequently through me.
28. My coaching clients.
29. Kristian's career and job.
30. For the new and wonderful friendships that I am attracting and forging.

"Mommy, did I come from an egg?"

2009-05-26T14:21:00.002-06:00

"Mommy, did I come from an egg? Did you open me?" Those were the words that Riley spoke to me this evening. Innocent, curious, and inquisitive. His questions were likely spawned from his field trip to Wheeler Farm where he saw eggs that were hatching baby chicks. I replied with "Yes, you came from an egg and that you grew in my tummy and then I pushed you out. He then asked me, "Were you SO brave?". And I answered, "Yes, honey, I was very very brave. It was the bravest moment of my life." As I said that, I recalled the 24 hours of labor and natural birth that I had gone through to bring him into this world almost 5 years ago. It was the hardest and most rewarding processes I have ever been through.

I really never knew the depth of my capacity to love something or someone until I had Riley. Each day, each week, each month, and each year just seems to get even better than I could have imagined. His desire for connection, his appetite for play, his innocence and affection melts and molds me. He touches aspects of myself that I never knew existed and his ability to pretend and imagine sparks a lighter side of my adult self to grow. I seem to take life and everything very seriously and Riley has a way of inviting a more fun approach into my daily life. He is such a gift.

One of my favorite coaching tools is a book I received a long time ago from a friend and colleague named Mary. The book is called, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman (http://www.fivelovelanguages.com ). Everyone I suggest the book too has had a profound shift in the way they communicate with their spouse, partner, family members or co-workers. It is a very practical, easy and helpful tool and a book that everyone should read. The 5 love languages are: Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Physical Touch, and Receiving Gifts. You can determine what your dominant language is by taking a simple test. Simply parenting Riley, I can clearly see what his love languages are. I would say this his dominant language is Physical Touch, followed by Words of Affirmation (although he loves receiving gifts too). What has been so interesting is to see how simply rubbing his back, hugging him or holding him puts him at ease. It is as if he calms, he centers, and he grounds himself simply by checking in and receiving physical comfort from myself and Kristian. I have found that when he is tired or about to have a melt-down, I can anticipate his reaction and cut it off by simply holding him, embracing him and being 100% present with words of affirmation. He turns around instantly and I am continually amazed at the effect.

The Quitter

2009-05-19T13:40:00.006-06:00

Below is a poem written by Robert Service that has served as a guide post and mantra to my brother, Christopher Hadley. It is no wonder... for my brother has lived his life with the utmost of determination, perseverance and character. This weekend, I got the opportunity to celebrate these qualities that he embodies as he received his law degree from Suffolk University. He had successfully weathered the storm over the past 3 years - going to law school.. while working full time in a firm.. while getting married... while having his first child. His ability to persevere and stay focused astounds me and serves as a gift of wisdom to me. The never give up, never quit attitude is something that many of us fail to completely realize. I am grateful witness these qualities in action, for they have taught me the value of dedication and commitment. Upon returning from Boston, I reflect on how I can deepen my dedication and commitment to my personal vision and goals. What will it take for me to reach and realize them?

Thank you, Shmadley, for inspiring me daily. Congratulations on your hard work, perseverance and dedication. You deserve every ounce of victory and reward.

The Quitter
When you're lost in the Wild, and you're scared as a child,
And Death looks you bang in the eye,
And you're sore as a boil, it's according to Hoyle
To cock your revolver and . . . die.
But the Code of a Man says: "Fight all you can,"
And self-dissolution is barred.
In hunger and woe, oh, it's easy to blow . . .
It's the hell-served-for-breakfast that's hard.

"You're sick of the game!" Well, now, that's a shame.
You're young and you're brave and you're bright.
"You've had a raw deal!" I know -- but don't squeal,
Buck up, do your damnedest, and fight.
It's the plugging away that will win you the day,
So don't be a piker, old pard!
Just draw on your grit; it's so easy to quit:
It's the keeping-your-chin-up that's hard.

It's easy to cry that you're beaten -- and die;
It's easy to crawfish and crawl;
But to fight and to fight when hope's out of sight --
Why, that's the best game of them all!
And though you come out of each gruelling bout,
All broken and beaten and scarred,
Just have one more try -- it's dead easy to die,
It's the keeping-on-living that's hard.
-Robert W. Service

Morning Intention Technique

2009-05-11T07:49:00.004-06:00

Each morning I make an effort to meditate, to get still, to set my intention for the day and to invoke the wisdom of my guides and angels to work through me. I have found that making my alter, adorned with my vision board, quotes, statues of Buddhas, dolphins, eagle feathers, crystals, stones, a crystal lotus, a bamboo plant, my pendulum, sage, and decks of cards ... grounds me and brings me inspiration to begin my day. I have 5 decks of cards that I use to receive direction and clarity. I find them incredibly useful and spot on. They respond to my intention and I trust my intuition to guide me to pick the perfect card. I have Angel Cards (from Doreen Virtue), Animal Medicine Cards, Affirmation Cards (by Louise Hay), and an incredible deck called Ascended Masters (also by Doreen Virtue) which guide me each morning. I use several other decks of cards during my client coaching sessions, but I keep those separate from my personal ones.

No matter how many years I have been using cards and card decks to access my higher wisdom, direction and intuition, I continually marvel in the accuracy of the ones I pick. I chuckle and give thanks to my guides, feeling their presence and support along my life's journey. I feel them and hear them through the cards I pick each morning.

For the last two weeks, I have been continually picking the same two cards. No matter how many times I shuffle the deck, I seem to be attracting the same messages. "Artistic Expression" and "Write". With this blatant reminder, I decided to begin writing my book. It is a vision I have had ever since I began to write and I feel the time is now to begin putting it together.

Deeply nudged by the card's messages, I went into the crawl space of our basement this past weekend and pulled out the crate that contains over 30 journals that I have written about my healing, the search for mySELF, my apprenticeship with a Spiritual Teacher, my out of body experiences, relationships, vision quests, and my dreams. My eyes were attracted to the top journal which I began to read first. It was one of my Gratitude Journals that I wrote in 1998. As I read it, I was reminded of my conscious connection to my Higher Source. I was reminded of how much I have changed since then. I was reminded of my cat, Pinon, and my love for him. I was reminded of my grandmother and all the beautiful gifts she gave me - some wanted lessons, some wanted insights, and some unwanted behaviors. I began the process of opening myself and RE-MEMBERING my journey.

Thanks to the Ascended Master's card deck, I am nudged to open myself to myself - even deeper. And, in the process, I open myself to you. Which will hopefully encourage you to open yourself to yourself. And we will all be better off for it.